


Don't Tickle The Dragon

by brokenhighways



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dragons, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Archaeology, Baby Dragon, Dragon Egg, Dragons, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff and Crack, Hatchlings, M/M, Mysticism, Off-World, Public Humiliation, Romantic Comedy, Snark, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-22 15:31:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3734071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If there’s one thing that Jensen never wants to hear about again in his life, it’s dragons. It sounds bizarre but that’s what happens when you’re in love with an eccentric archaeologist who has a penchant for rambling about dragons when he’s drunk. And when he’s sober. And… well, at any given time of the day. However, Jensen finds himself becoming enamoured when Jared’s given a dragon egg to look after and their lives change drastically.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Tickle The Dragon

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [DRAGONBIGBANG](http://dragonbigbang.livejournal.com/). I’ve had this idea knocking around in my head for years and I decided that I’d write it now rather than later. I had a lot of fun writing it in various locations (read: rush hour on the train) and I enjoyed working with **[dollarformyname](http://dollarformyname.livejournal.com/) _who graciously picked my story. She’s a very talented artist so please check out her art post[here](http://dollarformyname.livejournal.com/73608.html)! I hope that you enjoy this._**

 

  
  
  
  
  


# One

If there’s one thing that Jensen never wants to hear about again in his life, it’s dragons. That sounds completely bizarre but that’s what happens when you’re in love with an eccentric archaeologist who has a penchant for rambling about dragons when he’s drunk. And when he’s sober. And… well, at any given time of the day. Though Jensen doesn’t really mind that much, he worries that sometimes Jared’s unusualness gets him into trouble.

Like now. He’s sitting in his office when the email comes though from one of his best friends, Chris. The subject is ‘You have to see this!’ and he sighs to himself as he clicks on it. Usually when Chris can be bothered to email him at all it’s something related to Jared and his dragon obsession. Not that Jared’s famous or anything, but Chris likes to home in on anything that accentuates Jared’s weirdness. Not that Jensen thinks that his boyfriend is weird, he’s just… quirky, but he loves him for it. And fuck it, if Jared believes in dragons then he believes in Jared’s belief.

The link in the email is to a video of the University faculty party. Jared’s wearing a red party hat, his dark horn-rimmed glasses are askew and he’s obviously _wasted_ and Jensen is instantly on edge. Over the course of the next twenty minutes he slumps further and further down in his seat as Jared rambles on about dragons and how they’re real, he found the fossil to prove it, and how weather patterns in Eastern Scandinavia prove that they might still exist (though his words are _definitely still exist_ ). By the end of the video, Jensen’s got a sinking feeling in his gut and he closes it down and decides that punching numbers will be a good distraction from life for once.

 

Cut to three months later and Jared’s been out of work for two. The now infamous YouTube video had been the last straw for the head of the department at the University where Jared taught and they’d placed him on a forced sabbatical, which was apparently a nice way of saying that he was fired. Jensen’s not sure what he would do if he lost his job abruptly but he doesn’t think that he’d sit at home and watch Frozen every two days and act like someone’s died, however, Jared’s always had a flair for the dramatic.

“Why don’t we try watching another movie?” Jensen suggests in what he hopes is a nice, calming tone. There’s only so many times he can listen to ‘Let It Go’ and he’s reached the point where he will throttle something if he has to. In truth he’s tired of everything falling apart just because Jared is having some kind of crisis. There’s never any ‘ _Oh, how was work, Jensen?_ ’. Rarely any concern for _him_ and sometime it’s annoying. He knows that it’s partially his fault. He lets Jared get away with too much, lets him take and take without giving and chalks it up to the fact that he’s stupidly in love with his boyfriend.

“I like this one,” Jared says, glumly. And that’s another thing - Jared’s been like this ever since he got fired. Every. Single. Day. Jensen’s not really used to coaxing Jared out of bed or making sure he’s up by at least midday because he’s usually the grumpy one.

“You know, I’m getting really sick of your attitude,” Jensen snaps. “So you lost your job? So what? They’re still paying you. You still have your health and, so help me, God, you can still go crazy over your damn dragons. You’ve lost jobs before, Jared, and you’ve pulled through, so please, just – in the words of Frozen - let this go?”

If Jared’s surprised by Jensen’s outburst he doesn’t show it. Jensen sighs as Jared looks back at the screen, blankly. It’s not about the job, not really, and Jensen knows that but he can’t really sit and tell Jared that people will wake up one day and decide that he’s been right about dragons all along, not when he doesn’t really believe it himself.

And maybe one of these days he’s going to have to be completely honest about that.

 

 

Two days after that outburst, Jensen comes home to find Jared missing from his usual spot on the couch. The television is still on though, so it’s obvious that he’s still at home. He tries calling out for Jared but there’s no answer. A quick search of the house doesn’t lead to any discoveries and it’s only the sound of something smashing that gives him the idea to check in the basement. He steels himself as he makes his way down the rickety staircase, hoping that whatever he finds down there isn’t too crazy. Living with Jared’s always been an interesting experience, and while he’s gotten used to it now there’s always room for surprise. He really doesn’t want their insurance premium on the house to go any higher than it is.

The door springs open easily and at first glance the room looks empty, but at second glance there’s a glass display case in the middle. As he approaches it, Jensen sees some kind of weird looking oval shaped ball sitting on a cushion in it. It’s not unusual, given that Jared’s an archaeologist, but…he doesn’t make habit of bringing artefacts to the house. He reaches out to touch the glass just as Jared steps into a view, looking as if he’s just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“Oh, Jensen!” he says. “What are you doing down here?” The difference in Jared is noticeable. There’s some colour in his cheeks and the sparkle is back in his eyes. He’s _smiling_.

Needless to say, Jensen is slightly worried.

“Shouldn’t that be _my_ question to you?” he asks. “What happened to your two month long ‘Frozen’ marathon?” That last part comes out a little sarcastically and Jared’s smile evaporates.

“I don’t think I want to tell you,” he says. “Given that you treat me like I’m some sort of overgrown child.”

Jensen scoffs. “Well maybe you shouldn’t act like one!” -

“Don’t hold back, Jensen,” Jared retorts. “Tell me how you really feel.”

“Look, Jared, I love you,” Jensen says as his anger deflates. “But I think this dragon thing has got to stop. I want to believe you, but…you have to admit that it’s a little out there and people don’t find it quirky or cute anymore. It’s… it’s time to grow up. You say you found a dragon bone but… what’s your proof? It looks like a dinosaur bone!”

“What if I have proof?” Jared says slowly. “What if I could show you that they’re real? Because I can have a bunch of strangers thinking I’m nuts, and colleagues are just… well they don’t matter to me as much as you do, Jensen. And if you don’t believe me then… what are we doing? Why are we even together?”

Jensen definitely isn’t expecting _that_. Just because he doesn’t believe that dragons are real, they don’t need to do anything drastic like _breaking_ up. Jared is his best friend and vice versa – they’re meant to be, as cheesy as it sounds. Jensen just doesn’t like seeing Jared face disappointment when _other_ people don’t believe him. And that maybe isn’t fair because it’s not like he fully believes Jared either, so he can’t stand here and say that he doesn’t need proof because that would be a lie and it feels like he’s done that for the past few years anyway.

“I’m sorry,” he says, “that I don’t believe you. If it was over _anything_ else, you know that I would. You _know_ that.”

Jared shrugs. “Yeah, well. This is the reason why people think that I’m crazy and a laughingstock, and that’s fine. Well it isn’t fine, but I can’t change their opinion of me and I don’t care all that much. I _know_ that I’m not crazy and I don’t care what everyone else has to say, but for some reason, I still care about what you have to say even though I’ve let all of your sly comments slide over the years.”

“I’m sorry,” Jensen says again. “But if you had proof why not show me in the first place?”

Jared rolls his eyes. “Like I wouldn’t have if I’d had proof all along! I had the bone but people explained that away and I was left with nothing, so don’t you dare ask me that.”

“Okay, okay,” Jensen says, surprised at how irritated Jared is. Jared is very much the definition of easy-going, bubbly and all of those things. Of course, it’s been like living with a different person over the last few months, but even then Jared was more upset than _angry_. “Show me this proof then.”

Jared perks up a little and points at the glass display case. “That’s your proof. It’s a dragon egg.”

“And you know this how?”

“I… I maybe have access to a dragon portal?” Jared says and it comes out as a question. “I’ve never told you this because I didn’t want you to wake up one day and think ‘ _God, my boyfriend is completely insane_ ’ and just decide that you were done. When I found the bone on that dig in Russia, I… saw something. Usually I touch everything with gloves so that I don’t leave prints or damage anything, but I was so excited when we dug up the bone that I forgot and just picked it up and…” Jared trails off, his eyes distant and far away.

“What happened?” Jensen asks, hoping to coax the full story out of him as quickly as possible. Jared blinks rapidly and turns back to face Jensen.

“Oh, right, well…and this is going to sound really crazy, but I _saw_ something,” he says. “It was like, this mystical, amazing world and…there were dragons. Not like cartoonish dragons but actual fire-breathing dragons, and they were beautiful, Jensen. And I could understand them. They were talking about a war. I couldn’t really make out what they were actually talking about, but I got this feeling that I was supposed to help them somehow.”

Jensen raises an eyebrow. “A _dragon war?_ ” There’s no question of not believing Jared – he’s a terrible liar, and while it does sound a little out there, when he considers all that he’s been through with Jared, a dragon war isn’t the craziest thing that he’s heard.

“Yes!” Jared exclaims. “And even _I_ thought that was ridiculous so I dismissed it. Until the egg turned up, along with a message.” He pulls out what looks like a piece of parchment and hands it to Jensen.

“That thing over there is a dragon egg?” Jensen gives up on understanding the message after three seconds because it’s written in some kind of hieroglyphics or something. Jared’s the expert, not him, and he’s quite happy for it to stay that way.

What he’s not happy about is potentially waking up to find the house on fire.

“We are not keeping the egg,” he says. “No way. I believe you about the dragons, okay. I should never have doubted you. Not only am I upset that you thought that you couldn’t tell me this, I know that we need to have a serious talk about everything, but we’re not keeping the egg.”

 

Naturally, they end up keeping the egg. And it keeps Jared occupied for the next month as he waits for it to hatch. They come to a compromise regarding the egg’s whereabouts and Jensen tries to use the fact that they’re keeping it in the basement to stave off his fear that he’ll arrive home to ashes and the smell of smoke. Of course, Jared isn’t on the same page because he’s _Jared_ and things like accidentally burning to death because of a dragon egg don’t really resonate with him. He comes home on Friday afternoon to find Jared making dinner and talking to the egg. Jensen’s annoyance evaporates when he see that there’s a red party hat strapped to the egg. At first he’s not quite sure what he’s supposed to say, but it turns out that he’s stuck laughing uncontrollably for the next two minutes anyway.

“I love you, you know that?” he says when Jared frowns at him. “Don’t ever change.”

Jared smiles at that. “Aw, Wizard and I love you too.” And just like that Jensen’s mirth evaporates.

“We are not calling the egg _Wizard_ ,” he says. “Surely that’s like…you can’t just mix one kind of magic with another. That’s got to be bad juju.”

“Ha! You said _we_!” Jared says. “I knew that you liked the egg.”

Jensen snorts. “It’s an egg. There’s not much to like. And it stands to reason that if you end up raising this… dragon, that I’ll be helping you, so I think I should get a say in the name.”

“Of course you should.”

 

Wizard (Jensen _really_ is a pushover!) starts to hatch a month later, roughly around the time that Jared realises that he’s been cooped up in the house for too long and decides to go for drinks with his friend Chad, an annoying Professor of Furniture Design (which says it all, really). That leaves Jensen on egg duty. His plan is to ignore the egg, but he can’t help watching it more closely than he would if Jared was there. Wizard’s wearing a purple hat today, and Jensen watches as the string snaps off and a crack appears on the egg. There’s another crack and a wisp of smoke sneaks out from the dark jagged line. He doesn’t bother calling Jared because when Jared and Chad get together drunken, career-ending videos are uploaded to YouTube.

Instead he hits the internet, which is surprisingly full of information on how to hatch dragon eggs. At first, Jensen’s not sure if all of these people really believe that dragons exist, or if they’ve touched dragon bones. But then he realises that most of the posts are about _Minecraft_ and it’s back to square one.

“Uh, just… take deep breaths,” Jensen tells Wizard. “I wonder if there are dragon Lamaze classes. Or yoga? And fuck. Towels!” The last cracks happen in quick succession and more smoke rises up from the shell and a green head appears. Jensen’s dawdling above the baby dragon when Jared bursts through the door, with Chad hot on his heels.

“Oh my god, Wizard’s finally here!” he says, just as Chad takes in everything happening in front of him and promptly passes out. Jared looks down at him. “Don’t mind him; he won’t remember any of this in the morning.” Jensen rolls his eyes and takes a step back. Truth be told, he’s happy that Jared’s here to deal with this. Lord knows that he’d never hear the end of it if something happened to Wizard on his watch.

“How _did_ you know to come back?” he asks as Jared reaches down to pick the shell pieces from Wizard’s un(?)earthly green skin.

“Oh, the Dragon King sent me a text message,” Jared says distractedly. “I didn’t really understand it much. He asked me what Lamaze was?” Jensen freezes and eyes the room nervously. His gaze circles back to Wizard who’s now bundled in Jared’s arms. It could be a squint or a blink, but Jensen is certain that the dragon _winks_ at him. He blows out a breath as Jared leaves the room and heads toward the basement.

This is going to be _interesting._

A week after Wizard hatches, Jensen finds himself at his desk, scowling at Jared’s signature (read: _horrible_ ) Peanut Butter Surprise sandwich (though today it’s a _sub_ because they’re out of sliced bread). Jared’s been making him lunch now that he’s at home all day because they’re supposed to be cutting costs. Jensen’s tried pointing out that Jared’s still getting paid, but apparently paying a huge amount on keeping the basement lit up for Wizard is more important than Jensen having an edible lunch. Jensen’s in the middle of spitting out his first bite when the IM alert tone sounds on his computer.

**Jared** : WIZARD is driving me insane!!

Jensen stifles a groan. The last thing he needs is to be fired for wasting company time because his boyfriend is being terrorised by a baby dragon. He takes the chat off the record (not that it really is, but it’ll make him feel better).

**Jensen** : I thought she was a perfect little angel!

And yes, it turns out that Wizard is a girl, but Jensen shoots down Jared’s alternate name of _Sabrina_ because naming Wizard after a 90’s teen television show just seems cruel. Plus Jensen’s kind of gotten used to Wizard, if pushed he might even admit to _liking_ the name.

**Jared** : She isn’t.

**Jensen** : You wanna elaborate?

**Jared** : Well, you know how I said that she hasn’t burned anything? I lied. She’s been through what seems like half of my shirts _and_ that weird blanket thing that your grandma gave us. And she broke my glasses!!!

**Jensen** : You mean the blanket you won’t let me throw away? You’re not really doing a good job of getting me to feel sympathetic.

**Jared** : It’s a sentimental gift from family!

**Jensen** : the enclosed message said ' _You’re still going to hell, love Grandma'_. She’s lucky I didn’t mail her back a DVD of Brokeback Mountain.

**Jared** : Okay, so maybe I should have left the blanket out of my complaint. The fact is that Wizard is driving me crazy. And I swear she’s doing it on purpose. She does the opposite of what I say when we’re doing the dragon training exercises, and I could have sworn that she _winked_ at me after she melted the rubber duck I bought for her.

**Jensen** : I told you not to buy that rubber duck.

**Jared** : Ugh. Look, I just need a break. For an hour or so. Right now.

**Jensen** : You can’t leave Wizard on her own!!! Do you want her to burn the house down??

**Jared** : At this point, I don’t care. I’m tired L

_Jared is offline._

Before he can grab his cell phone to actually call Jared, another alert tone sounds from the computer. Jensen frowns when he sees that it’s a name that he doesn’t recognise.

**Danneel** : I see that Jared isn’t as fond of dragon humor as I am.

**Jensen** : …who is this?

**Danneel** : Two clues. I’m green and I’m wearing a blue hat today.

**Jensen** : _Wizard_?

**Danneel** : Jared is driving me crazy.

**Jensen** : Oh god.

By the time Jensen gets home, Jared is nowhere to be seen and Wizard – or, well, _Danneel_ – is propped on a cushion in the couch watching SpongeBob Squarepants. Jensen raises an eyebrow as Danneel turns slightly to face him.

“He’s sulking in the basement,” a voice says.

His eyebrow ascends even further. “It says a lot that I’m not surprised that you can talk.” He doesn’t wait around for a response because dragon or no dragon, Jared’s his main priority.

He finds Jared sitting cross-legged in the middle of the basement, eyes closed as he holds the dragon bone in his hand. He looks so serene and calm that he almost doesn’t want to interrupt, but he shouldn’t be here as it is.

“Jared, is everything okay?” he puts a hand on Jared’s shoulder, gently. Jared’s eyes blink open from behind his slightly smudged glasses. The first thing that Jensen notices is that Jared doesn’t _look_ okay. He looks angry and upset. Jensen glances at his watch. He might need to put in a call to his boss.

“Apparently Wizard was supposed to bond with her human protector as she hatched,” Jared says slowly. “But I wasn’t there! And you were, and now you’re protector. This is a disaster.”

“I’m a…. dragon protector?” Jensen says, because there isn’t anything reasonable about this dragon business but at least he wasn’t directly involved before. How on earth is he supposed to protect a sort of weird morphing baby dragon that can talk and surf the damn internet?

“It’s all my fault!”

“I’m not protecting any dragons,” Jensen states. “So call the… King and get him to reverse it.”

Jared pouts. “I can’t just tell the Dragon King what to do!”

“Not even if I told you that Wizard doesn’t really like you much,” Jensen says. “And also that she can talk and that she already has a name?”

“You’re not helping.” Jared pulls off his glasses and wipes them hastily before cramming them back on.

“I just want you to know what you’re missing!” Before Jared can protest some more they’re interrupted by Danneel flying into the room, her green wings are tiny and Jensen’s only thought is _I hope she doesn’t fly into any of the light bulbs_.

“Jared was just telling me how much he wants to be your protector,” Jensen says in the general direction of Danneel’s movement.

“She doesn’t like me,” Jared says glumly. Danneel flies around Jensen’s head and, as if by magic, a voice sounds in his head. _I do like him; I just don’t think it’s wise to allow myself to be protected by a man who can’t even work a toaster. There was a reason why I hatched when I did_. For a dragon, Danneel is kind of sassy but that’s neither here nor there. Jensen needs to help Danneel and Jared come up with some kind of compromise. Not wanting to upset Jared even further, he attempts to _think_ his reply back to Danneel. _Look, I’ll be honest with you. I work nine to five on most days. I don’t have the time to protect you or whatever, and the free time I do have? I’d like to spend it pretending that I don’t have a dragon-obsessed boyfriend and a baby dragon at home, so if you could just learn to love Jared, that would be nice._

Danneel decides to respond out loud. “I will agree to the bond switch on one condition.” If Jared wasn’t already on the floor, Jensen has no doubt that he would have ended up there. His eyes are as wide as saucers and he splutters and points incoherently. Jensen crouches down next him and pats Jared on the shoulder unhelpfully. There really isn’t any protocol for this kind of situation.

“What is it?”

“No more Disney movies, no more calling me _Wizard_. I will allow the blue, Mickey Mouse Sorcerer’s Apprentice hat, but none of those hideous party hats, and he needs to learn how to use the toaster.”

“Hey, I know how to use the toaster!” Jared exclaims. “I made a perfect batch of toast just this morning.”

Danneel stops mid-flight, so that she’s vibrating slightly directly in front of them. “That was me taking pity on you and testing out my fire breathing skills.”

Jared scowls. “I guess that explains why the fire alarm went off. Hey, you should test out your fire breathing skills again so that Jensen can see!”

Danneel winks at Jensen once again and proceeds to blow out a huge burst of bright yellow and orange fire.

It would be an impressive sight, but given that Jensen spends the rest of the day is spent convincing Jared that yes, he still loves him even though he doesn’t have any eyebrows, he starts to wonder if they’re way in over their heads.

**Danneel** : So, have you come up with any strategies?

**Jensen** : Remember how we called a family meeting? What was it that we discussed?

**Danneel** : Jared and I are not to contact you about any dragon related business. Unless the house is on fire.

**Jensen** : Exactly.

_Jensen is offline._

**Unknown number** to Jensen.

We really do need to discuss strategy?

_Jensen is online_.

**Jensen** : That includes text messages too. And how are you contacting me anyway? Do all dragons come born with built-in modems or something?

**Danneel** : No, we’re just far more advanced than you humans. Being alive and confined in a shell really gets the brain juices going.

**Jensen** : Uh-huh.

**Danneel** : So strategy. Unless you want me to ask _Jared_ to come up with a way for me to win this dragon war.

**Jensen** : No one said anything about you being part of the dragon war. You’re three weeks old!

**Danneel** : Eh. I’ll be fully grown in sixty days. That’s why I’m talking to you. I mentioned that tidbit to Jared and he… well... There were tears involved.

**Jensen** : :(

**Danneel** : colon and close bracket?

**Jensen** : It’s a sad face.

**Danneel** : You know what? I’ll come up with my own strategies.

_Danneel is offline._

Despite the fact that Danneel is quite advanced for a _baby_ dragon, there are some moments where her youth shines through. Take her war strategies for instance, which all include blowing up the enemy. Though Jared admits that he caved in and let her watch the Terminator series, so it could be down to that. Still, he sees the first sign of emotion from her when they explain that the evil dragons will also have fire on their side. She sniffles for a good five minutes before flying out of the kitchen. Usually Jensen would make some sarcastic comment and blame Jared for getting them into this mess but… Danneel’s kind of grown on him. And judging by her quick wit and snarky ways, he’s probably having an effect on her too. Her fondness for that damn hat and some bizarre stuffed frog that just appeared one day, however, is all Jared, and in a way they’re kind of like a family unit.

“That was rough,” Jared says. “I feel like we just told her that she couldn’t get a puppy.”

Jensen laughs. “That probably would have been easier.”

“We have to help her come up with a better strategy,” Jared says. “I’ve actually been thinking about it. I have an insight to a world that she’s never seen before so I should be able to help her out.”

“Why didn’t you help her before?”

Jared raises an eyebrow. “I don’t think I’ve endeared myself to her very well. I’m sure that the only reason that I’m still alive is because I’ve become good friends with the Dragon King.” Jensen practically spits out the lemonade he’s in the middle of drinking.

“Still alive?” he echoes. “What reason would he have for killing you?”

Jared sighs, despondently. “Well. Dragons are very secretive and protective creatures. Everything I can see is purely so I can help them from the outside. Once the war is over they tend to get rid of any anomalies.”

“So you’re like some sort of hired fixer whose life is expendable.”

Jared nods. “Uh, kind of, yeah… and… you’re angry.”

“I’m not angry.”

“You are,” Jared says. “You’re doing that thing where your right eye twitches a lot. This is definitely your angry face.

“I’m just confused, Jared, because it sounds like you just told me that your reward for a: looking after the egg and b: raising a baby dragon and helping her prepare for what I assume is a pretty serious war, is _death_.”

“It’d only be death because I’d refuse to leave this world for the dragon world. I have access to a dragon portal remember? I could easily just vanish from here and there’d be nothing for them to clean up.” Jared looks uncharacteristically nervous and Jensen feels his anger ebbing away.

“But I wouldn’t be able to take you with me and I’m not leaving you, so…”

“Jared…”

The smell of smoke hits the air before they can continue the conversation, and Jensen looks up to see Danneel flying with what looks like one of Jared’s shirts concealing her head. He rushes over to untangle her from the shirt, handing over the singed pieces of fabric to Jared when he’s done.

“This was my _only_ good shirt,” Jared whines. Jensen stifles a smile. For all of Jared's protestations about Danneel not liking him, he thinks the fact that she goes for Jared's shirts when she's upset is proof that she does like him.

“I hate to break up your little moment, but the law of killing any human bystanders was outlawed about a century ago.” Jensen breathes an audible sigh of relief because he’s not sure what would be worse: losing Jared to some mystical world that shouldn’t exist, or losing him in _this_ world where he’s basically Jensen’s reason for living. And even though Jared’s high maintenance, erratic, loud, overbearing, and probably going to give him an ulcer one of these days, he can’t lose him. Not now and not ever.

“We should get married.” The words are out before Jensen can stop them and the long silence that follows is awkward to say the least.

“Oh fuck,” Danneel says and Jensen swears that her eyes are sparkling and there seems to be a different energy around her. Almost as if she’s happy. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say that she broke the ice on purpose. It certainly didn’t seem as though Jared was about to, and while Jensen’s never really doubted his relationship with Jared, his heart is beating in his chest at the mere thought of how much he wants to spend the rest of his life with him

“Language!” he and Jared say in unison, and Danneel smirks. Jensen wonders if the Dragon King knows what he’ll have to deal with when Danneel is ready to travel to her world. She flies out of the room, leaving Jared staring at Jensen intensely.

“I want to say yes, but…” Jensen freezes, unsure over what Jared’s about to say next. But? This is _them_. Jared and Jensen. There aren’t supposed to be any but’s. “I don’t want you to end up being tied down. To me, I mean. I know that I’m way out of your league. I mean, look at us; I’m a dorky, nerdy, dragon obsessed… nerd, and you’re this smart, hot, businessman, and I’m always scared that one day you’re going to realise that you’re friends are right and walk away and find someone better.”

This is a side of Jared that Jensen doesn’t see often. Jared’s always been uber-confident, but there’s this vulnerable part of him that has occasional freak-outs, and Jensen always wonders if the exuberance is an act. A way to cover up the fact that he feels like he doesn’t belong, like he’s too different, and it’s times like these that he wishes that his friends saw Jared the same way he did. Or, hell, even Jared’s own parents who think that being some kind of corporate high-flyer is the be all and end all. What resonates with Jensen the most is that after five years of being together, his friends still have the same misconceptions, his family, hell… everyone that they know. They think Jared’s cute and charming, but they don’t truly see how brilliant he is, and there’s no doubting that he is. Jared’s won awards for his work, he’s led successful digs across the world and, still, he’s just known as that guy who rabbits on about dragons.

“Remember the first night we met?” Jensen asks. They don't have the most exciting story. Jensen was out with his friends, he hit on Jared, and they had what was supposed to be a one night stand, only Jensen woke up to a bunch of dragon figurines on the dresser and he wondered what the hell he'd gotten himself into. But he was intrigued enough to stay for breakfast when Jared asked, and he found that he was actually having a good time.

"Of course I do," Jared says. "And I still don't get why someone like _you_ hit on me in the first place. We're so different and at least before I had a job and peers who respected me. Now I'm just some guy who can communicate with dragons. In the real world that doesn't mean anything."

"You said all of this back then, too," Jensen points out. "And what did I say?"

Jared sighs. "That you liked different".

"Exactly!" Jensen says. "And that hasn't changed. I don't want to get married to some shell in a suit. I know first-hand how boring guys like that are - because I am one. So coming home to you... and _Wizard,_ is more than enough for me."

"If I say yes can we just pretend that I didn't just freak out over nothing?" Jared looks a little sheepish and Jensen lets out a breath that he didn't know he was holding.

"Yes, we can," he says. "Of course we can."

Things are quiet over the next few weeks as Jared and Danneel come up with their strategies, and Jensen plays peacemaker when they don't agree on everything. Danneel is growing bigger and bigger every day, and Jared's getting more and more frustrated. In the meantime, Jensen's actually forced to do work without any IMs coming through to distract him. He's surprised to discover that he kind of misses their silly messages.

**Jensen** : How's the planning going?

_Jared is typing..._

_Danneel is typing_

Jensen raises an eyebrow at the speed at which they're both responding.

**Jared** : Danneel thinks that flying through the Dungeon of Mortar will give the Royal Dragon Force the upper hand.

**Danneel** : And why wouldn't it? It would give them an additional twenty draginutes!

**Jensen** : ....draginute?

**Jared:** dragon minutes

**Danneel** : dragon minutes.

**Jensen** : Okay. So. I'll just leave you to it. Bye!

**Jared** : But I haven't even explained why the Dungeon of Mortar is a bad idea!

**Danneel** : Please save me from this madness.

_Jensen is offline_.

Somehow getting lost in a sea of paperwork is less headache inducing than talking about dragons.

Jared's birthday is two days after the Dungeon of Mortar situation, and Jensen’s attempts to round up friends that aren’t Chad prove to be fruitless.

“But everyone loves Jared,” he’s telling Chad when they meet for lunch. They’ve just finished a morning of ring shopping, and it’s taken every single iota of Jensen’s being not to just throttle Chad for daring to say another word. “How is it that you can’t tell me where to find the rest of his friends?”

“A lot of them were other archaeologists, dude,” Chad says before letting out a loud burp. “They didn’t really appreciate Jared’s dragon video.”

“You mean that the one that _you_ uploaded to YouTube,” Jensen replies. “The one that I haven’t kicked your ass over, yet.”

“Yes, that one!” Chad says, rolling his eyes. “I did that to prove a point you know? None of those snobs ever liked him; they just wanted to take the glory of his success. I heard a bunch of them talking the last time I had the misfortune of going out with them.”

“Huh,” Jensen says. He might be developing some new found respect for Chad. “Okay, so what am I supposed to do? I booked a nice restaurant for twelve people. It’s going to look really awkward if it’s just my friends.”

“It’s never bothered you before.” The respect flies right back out of the window. Though, Chad might have a point. Jensen’s friends still aren’t too keen on Jared, even after five years, but they’ve come to some sort of compromise. Never say a bad word about Jared in front of him, and everything is good. He’s confident that they can do that for one evening. He just needs to find five more people in the next four hours.

Seven hours, six outfit changes, five ring mishaps, four phone calls, three conversations with Danneel, two extinguished fires and one Craigslist search later, Jensen’s rounded up what he hopes are three legitimate dragon enthusiasts, Jared’s assistant Sandy, and Aldis - an actor who apparently needs all the practise that he can get. They’re waiting for Jared at the restaurant and, if Jensen’s watch is correct, Jared is thirty minutes late. This can mean a number of things, but Jensen really hopes that the house isn’t on fire.

“Jared’s freaking out outside in his car,” Chad stage whispers. Everyone turns around to look at him.

Chris, one of Jensen’s best friends, rolls his eyes. “What’s he done now? Discovered that witchcraft is real?” Jensen glares at him. One of the dragon enthusiasts (who Jensen will call Bob on account of forgetting his name three seconds after hearing it) spits out his mouthful of wine.

“Don’t believe what people tell you,” he says. “Witchcraft is very real, my friend. Very, very real.”

Sophia – another of Jensen’s friends – squeals in delight. Bizarrely enough, she’s probably the only friend of his who likes Jared, though it’s more ‘I find this guy really fucking hilarious’ than genuine like, so he’s not sure that it counts. The conversation goes back and forth for the next twenty minutes, with Chris getting more and more irate, and he’s torn between defusing the situation and going to find Jared. An hour after Jared was supposed to be here; Jensen sighs to himself and leaves the table. He stops by and opens a tab, telling the owner that he won’t be back but he’ll pay for whatever his friends are having. This was a bad idea.

He finds Jared at home, in the garden, playing Frisbee with Danneel. Luckily for them their garden is surrounded by very tall hedges so none of the neighbours will look outside of their windows and wonder if that really is a green dragon. They don’t need a media crisis on top of everything.

“What happened?” he asks Jared, watching as the pink disc flies across the grass once again.

Jared shrugs. “I didn’t really want to sit at a table with your friends and pretend that I’m okay with them not liking me.”

“Fuck them,” Jensen says and he means it to. “I wanted tonight to be special but I guess I screwed up when I invited them… I just… oh, just come here.”

“What?” Jared’s distracted by the Frisbee again, and Jensen sends a telepathic _get the fuck out of here_ to Danneel. He’s not surprised when he gets a face full of her wing as she flies back into the house. She’ll regret it later when he confiscates her peanut butter M &M’s. Jared’s left with no choice but to come over to Jensen but stops short of actually standing in front of him. Desperate to close the distance between them, he holds out his pinky finger and gives Jared a hopeful look. Although Jared rolls his eyes, he hooks his pinky finger into Jensen’s and doesn’t hold back when Jensen pulls him in for a kiss. It’s not long or deep, but Jensen hopes it’s enough to convey that he’s sorry. One kiss leads to another.

And another.

And then another one.

Followed by something else entirely.

By the time they come up for air, Jensen’s almost forgotten what he came out here for. Chris has left him several angry (and one drunk) voicemails and while Jensen should fear for the lives of the two dragon enthusiasts, he doesn’t want to undo all of the making up he’s done with Jared.

“My day has _definitely_ improved,” Jared says when they’re camped out in front of the TV with Chinese takeout cartons spread around them. “Now all I need is my present!” Jensen grabs the poorly wrapped package that he got just in case the ring thing didn’t work out. In hindsight, he probably could have just done the ring buying the day after he proposed, but he has been preoccupied with the whole raising a sassy, baby dragon, thing.

“Oooh!” Jared says. “It’s a

“If you can’t take the heat don’t tickle the dragon?” Danneel reads out from her spot on her cushion. “Classy.” There’s a lone noodle hanging off one of her small white horns (which have suddenly sprouted from somewhere) and he hopes that there isn’t any other kind of heat coming from her tonight.

“I got you a matching hat, princess,” Jensen retorts, ducking as her tail comes swooping above his head. She huffs and makes a hasty exit from the room, giving Jensen the perfect opportunity to finally give Jared the ring.

“I think Danneel’s taken a liking to my ring,” Jared whines as he walks into the kitchen one morning. It’s five-thirty in the morning and Jensen’s in the middle of inhaling his black coffee and pulling faces at a banana that he probably won’t eat. “It’s disappeared from the nightstand again. “

“So dragons liking treasure isn’t a myth?” Jensen replies. “I can cross that off the list. Anyway, why are you up so early?” Jared perks up and almost bounces right there on the spot. If Jensen wasn’t used to this, he’d be out for blood because it’s honestly too early for any form of _bouncing_.

“Oh, well apparently tomorrow’s the day that Danneel gets to meet the Dragon King!” Jared says.

Jensen frowns. “Does that mean that this war is ready to start? Because I have to say pre-planning a war to the point where you can _reject_ strategies seems a little weird to me. Are you sure that it isn’t just going to be some sort of elaborate pillow fight?”

“That would be so cool!” Jared says. But then he frowns. “No, though, it is a serious war. The Dragon King and this other king are going head to head over some kind of land dispute. The king just had to wait for an heir to come along and lead the battle. He’s getting on in his old age.”

“Wait, Danneel is going to be _heading_ up this battle?” Jensen says. “She’s just… she’s so young.”

Jared looks at him sadly. “That’s why she was born.” Jensen’s heard some ridiculous things in his time, but sending a baby dragon to war is probably right up there on the top of the list. Despite Danneel’s mental agility and her physical abilities, she’s still a little wet behind the ears. Hell, she looks like something from _Barney the Dinosaur_ ’s show. How is she supposed to win a war by herself?

“We have to go with her.” The words fly out of his mouth before he knows what he’s saying but, once he’s processed them, Jensen finds that he actually _means_ them. He actually wants to go into Dragon-dom and make sure that Danneel makes it through this _war_ alive (and part of him is now hoping that it really does turn out to be a pillow fight).

“You _are_ her human protector, after all,” Jared says, a little too conversationally for Jensen not to realise that he’s been played. “And I did get a personal invite from the king himself.”

“I hate you, you know that?” Jensen says. “Travelling to this dimension won’t fuck us up somehow will it? Like, we’ll still be able to do everything and have all of our limbs when we come back?”

Jared just sighs at him.

Khuldas. That’s what the sign says. They’re in some kind of empty wasteland and Jensen wonders if the chant that Jared said was correct. Knowing their luck they’re probably in Troll World and not Dragon World.

“Are you sure that this is the right place?” he asks. It’s bad enough that he’s stuck wearing a ridiculous black cloak (according to Jared, he had to be in the appropriate attire when he meets the king, and all they had time to do was to cut out bizarrely shaped poncho-type things from some old bed sheets).

Khuldas is beautiful. The sky is an ethereal shade of green. Dark objects dart across, and Jensen wonders if they're other dragons. He looks over at Jared who looks absolutely transfixed and stunned. Even Danneel, who's perched on Jared's shoulder, doesn't have anything to say for once as her bright eyes take in the sight around her. They both look so _amazed_ by what they're seeing that Jensen starts to wonder what's wrong with him. Sure, he thinks this place is pretty, but... there's no emotional connection. He doesn't really want to be here. He wants to be back at home, in _his_ world, with his boyfriend and their pet baby dragon. Despite his concern for Danneel, this isn't his war and he doesn't want to be a part of it.

"I can't do this," he says abruptly. "I want to go back." The portal is still open and from what Jensen's been told, he has a limited amount of time before it closes and he's stuck here for good - a thought that fills him with dread for several reasons. It means leaving Jared, and up until now, that's never been an option. He's never really had to compete with the dragon side of things before. It was just _there_. A part of Jared that he accepted but never really worried about. How could he? Now he realises that this is what they've been leading up to all along. Jared even tried to warn him with that bullshit about humans not being allowed to come back to this world once they entered the human realm. Danneel had doused the flames that night but... she has a direct link to the King. She just did what she was told. Jensen's just not sure why he's never caught on before now.

"What?" Jared says, his voice low and shaky. "It'll just be a few days, Jensen, and then we'll be back here." He's lying, but the betrayal doesn't sting because, at the end of the day, Jared did it out of love. And while he should be hurt, he's not because he's about to break Jared's heart.

"We won't though, will we?" he says. "Once we're in, there's no getting out. You tried to tell me once before."

Jared's hands ball into fists and Danneel flies off his shoulder, hovering nearby. "And you swore to me that you'd never leave!"

"Yeah, but I didn't sign up for _this_ , Jared," Jensen says. "I... don't care about the Dragon War. Or this place. I liked our life the way it was, but you didn't and that's okay. I'm not going to stop you from staying here."

"What am I supposed to do here by myself?" Jared says. His eyes suspiciously wet. "It's not going to be a freaking walk in the park."

"But it's your choice," Jensen says. "And I'm respecting it. I've made my choice and I'm not staying."

"And you've picked right now to tell me?" Jared growls petulantly. "To leave me? After I finally have a chance to fulfil my destiny. You could‘ve left me at any other point. Like that time I caught a fever and begged you to get me a talking goldfish named Klaus.”

Any other time and Jensen would concede the point, but not now. Not when Jared’s never really put him first. Sure, he’s never really had to, but the fact is that Jensen will never be able to compete with the dragons, and he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to stand here and watch as Jared makes a choice, so he’s doing it for him. A small robin flies by, tweeting as it flaps its wings, and Jensen looks up at the bird, tracking its flight as he wonders what it would be like to be that free.

“You would have kept persuading me if I’d said anything earlier,” Jensen replies. “That’s what you do, and I don’t mind, Jared. I’m a fucking pushover and you take every inch that I give you.” There’s a beat where they share a look, and there’s almost a flicker of a smile on Jared’s face. Realising just how _wrong_ that sounds, Jensen stops and tries to center his thoughts. In the near distance he can see the trees swaying and hear the low cries of the wind, but it’s almost like white noise to him compared to the sound of his heart.

“Jensen…” For once, Jared is lost for words and Jensen desperately tries to find his own.

“I’ve given you everything you wanted and… I don’t think you’ve really done the same for me,” he says quietly, looking down at the ground which is paved in blue-grey slabs with dancing spots of light reflecting on them. “And that’s okay, because all I want is for you to be happy within yourself and maybe you will be here, but I need to get out of this place. I need to do what’s best for _me_.”

“Fine,” Jared says tersely. “Leave.” Jensen’s head snaps upwards, just in time to see the anger on Jared’s face. The sound of the wind picks up, a loud whistle that's seemingly in sync with the growing tension between them.

“Jared, this isn’t easy for me either,” Jensen tries but Jared’s not having it. He’s still in petulant mode, which means that he doesn’t want to hear anymore. He _won’t_ hear anymore. Instead, Jared steps forward and shoves Jensen back in the direction of the portal. Before Jensen knows what’s happening he’s freefalling. After what seems like an eternity, he lands with a hard thud as the sight of the unforgiving concrete that makes up the basement floor comes into view. For a minute he sits there, staring at the empty display case and the small cushion lying inside it. Within five, he’s still sitting there but he’s sobbing so hard that he can barely see and wondering if he’s just made the biggest mistake of his life.

# Two

He tells his friends that they’ve broken up and tries not to be offended when Chris shows up at the house one evening with a bunch of balloons and a bottle of tequila. After watching him pop each balloon with a safety pin, Chris seems to realise that Jensen’s not really okay and he stops with the barbs and smack talk.

“You know what’s funny?” Chris says after their third shot. “He was weird, but he wasn’t that bad. I guess I just never really saw you ending up with an artsy type. But even so, you guys seemed like you were _it_. You know, true love and all of that sappy, stupid shit.”

“We wurr,” Jensen slurs. “We wurr.” He knows exactly what Chris is doing, trying to get him drunk enough to confess all that happened, but he’s not falling for it.

“Well, then what happened?”

Jensen laughs bitterly. “Dragons happened.” He raises his glass in a mock salute and pretends not to notice when Chris shoots worried glances in his direction for the rest of the night,

Life goes on. Well, general life goes on but Jensen’s kind of falters. He still goes to work every day and does every other perfunctory task he’s supposed to, however there’s an obvious hole in his life and it’s shaped like Jared. He’s worried about what’s happening in Khuldas and worried about Jared, and, hell, even Danneel. It’s the not knowing what’s happening that affects him the most. He’s at work when the idea hits him - he can try and contact Danneel via instant message. There’s no email address associated with her account, but that doesn’t mean that she won’t receive it.

**Jensen** : Danneel?

There’s no response and after ten minutes of staring at his screen, Jensen goes back to the report he’s writing on. He skips lunch because it reminds him too much of Jared’s awful sandwiches and thoughts of Jared lead to little productivity and his boss flagging him up for a ‘slower work rate than we would normally expect’. So he just roots around in his drawer and sucks on some month old mints that he hopes won’t give him gastritis.

**Danneel** : Sorry for the late response. I was busy dismembering one of the bad guys.

Jensen almost falls off his chair at the sound of the IM alert and, after taking a few minutes to compose himself, he replies back. He tries to go for sarcasm, not wanting to seem like he’s _desperate_ for information even though he is. He doubts that he’s going to get any sympathy from Danneel.

**Jensen** : That’s a joke, right?

**Danneel** : No.

**Jensen** : Okay, whatever. How’s Jared? Where is he? Is he alive?!! How is that you have time to be messaging me in between cutting off dragon heads?

**Danneel** : I’m a telepathic dragon, remember? I’m fine by the way. I mean, I’m missing a chunk of my left wing but that’s okay. Thank you for asking.

**Jensen** : I’m glad that you’re okay. Sorry about your wing. Where’s Jared?

**Danneel** : He’s… weird.

**Jensen** : What? Weird how?

_Danneel is offline._

 

The next time he hears anything about Jared is a couple of weeks later when he receives some letters. They arrive via a courier service. Or what Jensen assumes is a courier service because he watches as a bright, green van pulls up outside with ‘DRAG-MAIL’ affixed to its side. He’s waiting by the door when the knock comes. He opens it to see Bob, the dragon enthusiast staring up at him with a stack of envelopes in his hand.

“Oh, it’s… you,” Jensen says, remembering at the last minute that Bob isn’t the guy’s _actual_ name. “Hello.”

“My name is Misha,” the guy says, and Jensen just decides to keep calling him Bob. “You’ve got drag-mail.”

“Uh, thanks?” he says. He takes the sheaf of letters and gives it a cursory glance. He tries not to let his heart skip too much when he recognises Jared’s looped handwriting. “Wait, you’re… you… these are from Khuldas?” At the mention of the dragon town, Bob’s face morphs from his bored expression to an excited face.

“Yes! I’m not from there originally, but I travel across it quite often as part of my work.”

Jensen eyes him curiously. “You’re a dragon courier?”

Bob stares back at him; his blue eyes shining brightly with what Jensen decides are untold secrets. “Sort of. The Royal Family have a bit of business with government officials around the world. And I’m delegated to assist with The Others.” The others? Jensen takes a deep breath.

“Can we just decide to do the conversation this way? You pretend that I have no idea what you’re talking about and spell it out for me without me asking.” Jensen doesn’t mean to be rude but he’d rather Bob get to the chase instead of waxing lyrical about his job.

Bob rolls his eyes but he doesn’t argue. “The Others as in significant others of the humans trapped in Khuldas. Typically they’re not allowed to communicate with the outside world, but the King isn’t an unreasonable man. He allows letters.”

“I think trapping humans in some weird dragon town is pretty unreasonable,” Jensen retorts. He decides to move on quickly before he offends the guy. “How is Jared? Have you seen him?”

Bob shrugs apologetically. “I don’t get to see them, I just deal with deliveries. Sorry.”

Jensen’s ashamed to say that he slams the door in the man’s face. After what seems like hours, he grabs a six-pack of beer and steels his nerves before diving deep into the letters.

_Dear Jensen,_

_I'm still pissed at you. Or with you. Whatever. I swear this place has made me forget the most mundane things. It turns out that dragons don't really care about other dragons. And time here is weird. I've been here for what seems like a year. I mean...I thought that the war would be over in a week and that then I could maybe make a deal with the king to get out of here. You were right by the way, the king has no intention of letting me out of this. There are three other humans here who all fell for the same trap. They looked after Danneel's siblings. One guy is kind of snarky. You'd like him. Anyway, I'm rambling. I'm working on an escape plan. Hopefully I'll see you soon. Miss you._

_Jared_

~

_Dear Jensen,_

_So, apparently the guy that claims he can move things across worlds can only move once a month. You must be worried out of your mind!! That snarky guy, Jeff, gave me this guy's details the second day I was here. It was quite weird really; the guy - the one who can switch between worlds - says that he was at my birthday party. Of course I missed that, so I don't know if he's telling the truth. Though it's a weird thing to lie about._

_Anyway, I'm sorry about starting the last letter in that way. If it felt like a year after two Earth days then, fuck. You owe me a huge bowl of I Told You So._

_Jared_

~

_Dear Jensen,_

_I'm sorry for ending the last letter that way. This place makes me feel kind of... moody. Danneel stopped by the other day and told me I was being weird. She said that she told you that I was being weird. Which is weird. Almost as weird as entrusting a bunch of humans with your deep dark secrets and then locking us up in a fucking tower with chess sets to keep us occupied. My love for dragons is well and truly DEAD. Well. They're still breathtakingly beautiful creatures. And what I've seen of this place is amazing, but it isn't home. There aren't any hot, humid days, or rainy days. Everything's just… perfect._

_Too perfect._

_Jeff says that dragons are all about optimums. Which makes sense I suppose, considering the whole fire thing. It's funny, for each thing I learn there's something I realise that I miss. I didn't say goodbye to Chad. Or my family. Or the garden gnomes!_

_And you. I was so blind to this dragon thing that I didn't even say goodbye to you. Jeff told me not to get too emotional in these letters because it wouldn't make you feel any better, but I'd rather just say it now because I'm bad at these emotional type situations. I'm bad at taking any form of responsibility. You've been amazing with the whole dragon thing, even though it caused tension with your friends and, lest we forget, your parents because I can't shut up (I'm working on that!). There are about a million things that I need to apologize for but only two words that I can say._

_I'm sorry._

_Jared_

~

There are more but they get a little repetitive and basically Jensen garners that Jared’s sorry, and that he was wrong and that Khuldas is ‘ _fucking freezing but warm at the same time, because, y'know optimums_ ’. Jensen stops reading them eventually when they get more emotional and a lot shorter in length. On one hand he’s happy that Jared can finally see that his dragon-mania isn’t all it was cracked up to be, but on the other, a part of him is devastated on Jared’s behalf. He can’t imagine going through life dreaming and imagining something, only for it to be a huge disappointment.

From what he can gather, Jared is the latest in a long line of human dragon-admirers to become egg protectors and, eventually, war strategists. Considering that Jared says that there are about twelve other people (besides the three that he is currently staying with), Jensen doesn’t want to know how many wars the dragon engage in. What he does want to know, however, is why the Dragon King thinks it’s acceptable to keep a bunch of innocent people locked up for no real reason.

Bizarrely enough, he doesn’t actually consider taking any action himself until Chris shows up with Bob in tow. Chris has been oddly contrite about the whole Jared thing. Jensen can tell that he doesn’t really buy that they broke up, but he doesn’t really care if his cover story is believable or not. It’s not like Chris will change his mind about Jared either way.

So it’s a surprise when Chris shows up and says, “I bumped into the guy from Jared’s birthday and he told me the most interesting story.” Bob looks faintly amused, and Jensen wonders why they have to pick the one day of the week that he doesn’t have to work to do this. He was kind of enjoying his Sunday.

“What story was that?”

Chris sighs. “That dragons are real. And that Jared went off to this mystical dragon place like the idiot he is and now he’s trapped.”

“And let me guess, you’re here to tell me that I’m better off without him and that I’m in love with a crazy person and that you were right all along,” Jensen spits out. “How many times do you need to say ‘I told you so’?! I get it!” There’s a long silence as Chris just looks at him. And then looks at him some more.

“No, I’m here to say that I know that dragons are real. I know about the egg and I know that Jared’s stuck somewhere and that you miss him. And before your little rant, I was going to say that I was here to make you feel better because Misha here tells me that your boy isn’t coming back.”

“Oh, you were, were you?” Jensen retorts. “And who the hell is Misha?”

Bob clears his throat. “That would be me.”

Jensen stares at him blankly. Oh yeah. Oops. “Do you mind if I call you Bob?”

Bob frowns. “Would you mind if I called you Jenny?”

“You’re damn right I would!!” Jensen answers right away, hoping that he’s got the right amount of _appalled_ in his tone.

Bob smiles at him complacently. “There’s your answer then.”

Jensen mentally punches the guy in his annoying smug face.

_Dear Jensen_

_Hi! How are you? I hope that you’re not feeling too bad about not coming with me. I should be the one feeling guilty, not you. I just hate that I’m stuck here and that I can’t see you – or even get a letter back from you! Though that could be because you haven’t written one and—_

Jensen stops reading at that point, guilt flooding his chest as he realises that he really hasn’t written back. He hasn’t even put pen to paper and composed a draft, or… anything. Somehow he doesn’t think he’ll be able to find the words, but it’s worth trying, right?

**Dear Jared,**

**I… it never even occurred to me that I could write back. You know what I’m like. At best, people are lucky to get a one line email from me.**

Jensen frowns at his Word document and hits the backspace key until every single word vanishes and he’s staring at a blank page. He’s never been much of a big talker. He’s more of an emotionally expressive guy and that’s why it hurts so much that Jared isn’t here. He’s not here to see how much Jensen misses him, or how quiet things are now that he’s not around.

He’s not here to see that Jensen’s barely living without him. Not here to see that Jensen’s just about holding on to what they have because it seems like he’s the only one who cares that Jared’s gone. There’s been nothing from Chad or Jared’s family and he wonders what the deal is with that. It’s possible that they think that Jared is on a dig and out of reach and Jensen almost wishes that it were the case because at least then he’d know that he’d get Jared back.

He stares at the blank document for a little longer before an idea finally comes to mind. He smiles to himself, but it's weak. He's not himself, not without Jared.

“You want me to give this DVD player to Jared, along with a special DVD that you’ve recorded?” Bob’s in a foul mood when he delivers the next batch of letters and Jensen’s not really sure what to do. “Do you think I do this job for free, human?” The way he says _human_ makes Jensen feel like the lowest form on Earth and he wonders why he’s only now questioning whether Bob is human or… a _dragon_. Or both.

“Uh, I don’t… what can I pay you with?” Jensen flounders, his buzz at coming up with a solution for the whole not-being-able-to-write-a-letter situation deflating slowly as he watches Bob’s scowl.

Bob’s face relaxes slightly. He glances down at Jensen’s wrist. “I like that watch.”

Jensen sighs as he starts to undo the clasp. It figures that Jared would end up with a dragon courier with expensive taste.

Thanksgiving is approaching, and while his friends are busy making plans and his mom’s emails about her famous cherry pie roll in, Jensen finds himself thinking about Jared constantly. He hasn’t received a letter since he sent the disc, and that was two months ago. Two months without a word (and his watch!).There have been no instant messages from Danneel, no ill-timed visits from Bob and Jensen’s just about reached his limit. Yes, he misses Jared and, yes, he’d wait forever if he could, but he’s been led to believe that there’s no chance of him coming back. And while that hurts him down to his core, to him there’s nothing worse than sitting around waiting for the inevitable to happen. He’s gone over what happened in his mind over and over again, blamed himself for leaving without ensuring that Jared went with him. He’s done it all a million times and he’s just – _tired_.

This isn’t giving up. That’s what he tells himself anyway. It’s not giving up; it’s moving on.

So, he agrees to go home for Thanksgiving, and even agrees to attend Chris’ annual Thanksgiving party.

The first one is a mistake because his brother and sister manage to bail, leaving Jensen alone with his parents who spend the entire evening telling him how much better off he is without Jared, and how he was always a little bit weird. Jensen wonders why he didn’t come up with a better cover story or hell the truth. It’s not like ‘ _he’s gone to help with the dragon_ war’ would have thrown them that much. They’ve all heard Jared’s drunken ramblings.

“The only thing we liked was that he has a doctorate,” his father is saying as Jensen tunes back in. “Though I’m not sure how he got it.”

It takes every ounce of strength that Jensen has not to stab himself with his fork.

Chris’ party is even worse. Sophia brings along two of her extremely hot, male and single friends and gives Jensen a card that simply has a quote in it.

_If you don't believe in dragons,_  
It is curiously true  
That the dragons you disparage  
Choose to not believe in you.  
~ Jack Prelutsky

And then Bob shows up and hands him a pink drink and says, “It’s Misha” like that’s supposed to _mean_ something. Jensen doesn’t care really, he’s too busy wondering why Bob hasn’t been doing his duties as a Drag-Mail courier.

“My name,” Bob says. “It’s Misha.” Jensen blinks at him but doesn’t say anything. Chris walks by and claps Bob on the back before vanishing into a thrum of people. Jensen doesn’t even bat an eye at that. If you’re breathing and you drink alcohol then Chris will be cool with you. It’s a fact of life.

“You know, I might be more useful to you if you actually remembered my name,” Bob – no, _Misha_ – says.

“What’s that supposed to mean, B—Misha,” Jensen replies. Misha. Meesha. Mi—okay, whatever, if he can remember his co-workers names, he can remember the damn dragon courier’s name. “Do you have anything from Jared?” Misha’s eyes dart across the room shiftily as he shrugs.

“Maybe…” The nonchalant way he says it only serves one purpose, really, and three hours later Jensen’s in the ER with a sprained hand while Misha looks at him reproachfully. The pink spot around his eye is gone – if it was there at all – and Jensen feels like a complete idiot.

“Are you going to let me explain now?” Misha asks as Jensen is signing his release papers (with his _left_ hand).

Jensen turns around to glare at him. “Why are you even here? Where’s Chris?”

“He said that he wasn’t going to let your stupidity ruin his kick-ass party,” Misha says tonelessly. “I think your friend might be emotionally stunted.”

Jensen snorts because that’s the understatement of the freaking year.

“Let’s go back to Jared,” he says instead. “I gave you a very expensive watch that really ought to have made up for any… misunderstandings that we had.”

Misha has the decency to look sheepish at that.

“True, and I was rather cheeky in accepting it from you,” he says. “But luckily for you, there’s one thing that dragons love more than treasure. - love itself.” Jensen all but throws the pen down as he turns to leave, praying that the Vicodin they gave him kicks in soon.

Misha remains oblivious to his ire as they head towards the exit. “In terms of films, Titanic is a personal favourite of mine! Oh, and oh god, Rachel McAdams. Can somebody give that woman a Dragold Award! I just loved – nay – _cherished_ **_The Notebook_**. And it’s just wonderful that she and Ryan Gosling are together in real life.”

“They broke up, actually,” Jensen says (what? Jared subscribes to US Weekly!).

Misha smiles at him serenely. “They might have broken up physically, but their souls are tied together. _Forever_.”

Jensen sighs to himself wearily. It’s going to be a _long_ night.

Misha drives Jensen back to his house and follows him in. The entire place is spotless, dust-free, and he gets that same pang of loneliness he has whenever he re-enters the house and sees that Jared’s clutter is nowhere to be seen. He turns to Misha right there in the hallway.

“You were saying that you had a message from Jared?” The pain medication is still working and he just wants to take whatever Misha has to give him, curl up in his bed, and possibly cry while he reads it all.

“Uh, yeah… so the reason why it took me so long to bring everything back is because I am legally required by Khuldas law to deliver _all_ mail posted off-world,” Misha explains as he directs Jensen to the basement. A place that Jensen’s avoided ever since Jared went to save the dragon world from a dragon war. “And there was a little technical glitch with the disc you sent. It ended up being broadcast live on DragonVision and now… you have fans.”

Jensen blinks at him. “Did you just say that I have _fans_?”

“Yes,” Misha nods. “And, ergo, you received a lot of fan mail. And also an award.”

“An award?” Jensen echoes.

Misha nods again. “Yes, the Brad Pitt Award of Attractiveness. You’re actually the first recipient, given that the whole Angelina Jolie situation happened in the middle of awards committee. Your face is alarmingly popular in Khuldas.” Jensen tries to take all of that in, but he can’t. His damn head hurts too much.

“Just – get to Jared, okay?” he snaps. “We can deal with the fact that I’m apparently some sort of Dragonville celebrity later.”

“Well…” Misha says slowly. “You being revered in Khuldas gives you some leverage to negotiate with the king for Jared’s release.” He opens the basement door as he speaks and Jensen can only stare in shock when he sees how packed the vast room is. There are letters, parcels… a _bone,_ and a…

“Is that a baby piano?”

“Well, dragons and treasure,” Misha replies. “It stands to reason that they give nice gifts. Unless they’re gifting you with a face full of fire - which is _not_ pleasant.”

After twenty minutes of Misha’s ramblings, Jensen’s throws the man (dragon? Druman? whatever) out and goes about finding Jared’s letter himself. After half an hour of digging through all the junk, he finds a clumsily put together stack of letters with familiar handwriting on them and smiles to himself. He leaves the basement immediately, flipping off the light and kicking the door shut with his boot. After double checking that all of the windows and front door are locked he makes his way over to his bedroom and climbs into bed, shoes, jacket and all. He unfolds the top letter and begins to read.

_Dear Jensen,_

_I loved the DVD! I mean, you’re probably pissed off if you know about the whole ‘accidental dragon celebrity’ thing, but I think it’s cute. And you know, I miss you too. This place it’s… it’s not home. But I think I’ve found an escape route. Jeff’s saying that it’s not possible, but Hector – this dragon that only watches HBO and can’t breathe fire anymore - says it is. And technically I have to get past him to escape. How hard can it be, right?_

_All my love._

_Jared_

~

_Dear Jensen,_

_So, that didn’t work. And my eyebrows are gone again. It turns out that he had friends! Sigh._

_J._

_~_

_You’re probably wondering how it is that dragons get HBO. I guess it’s because they’re on the same planet we are, just… somewhere else. At least I think so because they get a LOT of things down here. Including a surprising number of nineties movie stars (apparently the war's on hold because – well no one actually gave me a reason. As you can imagine Danneel isn’t pleased about this. I don’t see her much but she was HUGE last time I saw her. She’s trying to get the King to release me but I don’t think she’ll succeed. I kind of wish that I could bring her back with me if I ever get out here. But… anyway, where was I? Yeah, there was this weird nineties tribute party and I swear that Van Damme, Seagal, Arnie and Stallone were here. Hell, I even saw Gary Busey! According to Jeff they’ve been trying to get Bruce Willis for years but Dragon Gold isn’t a big enough sell or something. Oh, and they ‘regretfully’ no longer invite Mel Gibson. For obvious reasons._

_~_

_So… I was at some fancy dinner yesterday to accept an award on your behalf…._

_~_

_Dear Jensen,_

_So Jeff suggested that I send you pictures of Khuldas instead of rabbiting (dragonning?) on about how all of the dragons are obsessed with Games of Thrones. Of course, we’re all out of contraband disposable cameras and for some reason we’re not allowed digital ones. The King isn’t really doing a good job at pretending that we’re not captives. Still we do have some pretty cool stuff here. Like chocolate scented saunas. You’re probably pulling a face right now. I can see it. Anyway, I did like Jeff’s suggestion and you know me, when there’s a problem – I find a way. Or I call you at work and ramble until you get me to shut up. ANYWAY, I decided to draw! Kind of silly but it was therapeutic almost. We totally should have got Danneel some coloring books, maybe it would have saved the majority of my shirts. J_

_J._

_~_

_Dear Jensen,_

_Here’s another one. This little guy is called Madonna. Yeah. I can’t even defend the dragons on this one. He looks more of a Cher than a Madonna to me, but what can you do right? He does a mean Vogue though, which is always entertaining. He also sets things on fire as he does it, which sort of takes the shine off his performances but I feel like that’s something I just have to get used to._

 

_ _

 

_Love from Jared_

 

_~_

_Dear Jensen,_

_This is Hector! He’s currently on a **Friends** kick. Apparently Games of Thrones is too emotional for him. I think Friends is probably the best option for him. Emotional dragons = things catching fire more easily. _

_~_

_The King wants me to extend you an official invitation to the High Dragon Palace (kind of a funny name for a palace, right?). He sent an actual invitation but that weird courier told me that he was carting over A LOT of mail. So, hopefully I’ll see you soon and you can beg the King to let me get out here. I miss everything, Jensen! Even that weird neighbour of ours who always leaves bread on his lawn even though there aren’t any birds to feed. I MISS BREAD-MAN!!_

_And you, of course. I love you._

_J_

~

Jensen’s forced to call Misha the next morning because he has no idea how to get to fucking Khuldas and he’s not about to leave Jared there when he can actually _do_ something helpful. And he needs help getting rid of all of this junk.

“You know dragons don’t give gifts as freely as humans do,” Misha remarks when Jensen puts this to him. “There could be some valuable items here.”

Jensen pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs, regretting picking Starbucks as their meet up location. All of the college kids have started to stream in and the noise is starting to give him a headache. Or maybe it’s just Misha. It’s probably just Misha.

“Can we just focus on finding Jared for now?” Misha gave him a list of things they’d most definitely need while he tried to come up with a plan and, quite frankly, that Jensen humoured him for more than five minutes only shows how desperate he is for this ordeal to be over.

“Did you find the items on the list?” Misha asks as he sips at his frothy mocha cautiously. The list had been full of all kinds of crazy shit such as a hardboiled egg, a signed Elvis record, vanilla scented candles and – the real kicker – a live dragon.

“Well, I couldn’t find a dragon on sale,” Jensen retorts sarcastically. Misha rolls his eyes as he picks up his phone and hands it over to Jensen. On the screen some kind of webpage is open and there’s a grid of various different dragons with… _prices_ underneath. His eyes dart back to the top of the webpage and he frowns.

“What the hell is DragLot?” he asks.

Misha shrugs. “It’s like eBay for dragons. It’s very popular in Khuldas.”

“But why would there be a bunch of dragons on sale… _online_?” To say that Jensen is confused would be an understatement and, really, given all that’s happened, he’s all out of confusion right now – his head just hurts. There's another burst of people streaming through the front door and Jensen sighs to himself. The sooner they get this conversation over, the better.

“It’ll come to you,” is Misha’s rather cryptic response. Jensen rolls his eyes as thinks about it.

It takes five seconds for the realisation to come to him.

“You’re kidding right?” he says incredulously. “There are dragon _hookers_. Or is there some other fancy name with a ‘Drag’ prefix?”

Misha smiles serenely. “No, we just call them hookers. But yes, in order to get to ‘Dragons Ville’ as you put it, you need to be accompanied by an actual dragon. Unfortunately, I am only part dragon. I’m basically a half-blood prince.” He looks at Jensen expectantly, almost as if he’s waiting for an affirmation of some kind.

“You’re what now?” Jensen says, just to get the conversation moving. He really doesn’t want to be doing this. At all. Ever.

Misha frowns sadly, his brow crinkling deeply. “Harry Potter?”

Jensen stares at him for a brief second before he stands up, wincing as his chair legs scrape against the tiled floor. “Yeah, so… I’m going to go and work on getting the rest of the stuff. You work on getting us a dragon because I can’t – don’t – want _any_ part of that.” He all but runs out before Misha can say anything else.

Next Monday is the worst one Jensen’s ever experienced. He calls in sick – _again_ – and his boss calls him back personally to tell him to get his ass back to the office if he wants to keep his job. Jensen, in his half asleep and non-caffeinated state, growls ‘oh, fuck off!’ and tosses his cell across the room. There’s a lull of about twenty seconds before he realises what he’s done. How the hell is he going to be able to pay off the mortgage? Or maintain all of that crap in the basement. Or take care of Jared, hell, they’re supposed to be getting _married._ Jensen’s mind circles back to the crap in the basement. There’s a lot of junk down there, and Misha did say that dragons had very valuable items…

Two hours later, Jensen finds himself armed with a bunch of sticky labels and a marker pen while Misha and Chris stare at him wearily.

“Right, so anything that looks valuable – mark it with an X, anything that looks like a piece of garbage—“

“Hey!” Misha protests valiantly.

Jensen rolls his eyes, “Put a sock in it, half-blood. Like I was saying, anything that looks like garbage gets tossed into the corner. Stuff that could be useful goes in the middle of the room. Capisce?”

“No. No capisce,” Chris says. “Your life is officially one of those Hollywood movies that no one really understands but they nominate it for Oscars anyway because – well, just because. Can’t you just get your job back?”

“Look, I can’t focus on anything apart from getting Jared back right now,” Jensen replies. “My boss will never understand. Besides, there’ll be other jobs. Right now we need to raise ten grand to pay for the dragon hooker that Misha found for us.”

Chris almost chokes on his tongue. “How much?!”

“Well you are asking him to commit treason,” Misha says. “So, there’s that.”

Jensen rolls his eyes and marks off another 'X'.

Eventually, they manage to make a windfall by taking some of the ugly brooches to a jewellers on the main street. The entire building is covered in tacky wooden ornaments, and long gaudy necklaces and Jensen seriously questions the owner and everyone who’s ever made a purchase in this place. The interior is a lime green, with yellow fixtures on the wall and moss-like plants decorating window panes. The woman that owns the store, Traci, is wearing a large purple cloak and beams when she sees him.

“Jensen!” she exclaims. “It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you!” Jensen only just manages to stop himself from saying something he’ll regret. He takes one more glance around the place and realises that it can only mean one thing.

“You’ve met Jared?” he asks. She nods so enthusiastically that Jensen thinks her head is about to fall off. Her explanation isn’t much of surprise.

“Yes, we’re part of the same Dragon Observation group!” Jensen nods faintly. Of course they are.

“All of us have been so worried!” she says. “But we got a few letters from him. You’re going to save him from Khuldas, right? I know that you’re not a believer… well, not really, but that boy adores you.” Before he can answer, the text alert sounds on his phone.

_So apparently you’re famous now_.

_Danneel_ , he thinks as he pockets his cell. He’ll answer her later. Right now he has to persuade Traci to give him a hundred bucks for these weird looking brass tubes that they found.

“I’m doing my best to get him back,” he says quietly. “It’s just hard when you don’t know a single thing about a world you’re not sure really exists.”

“I’m happy to help out!” Traci says. “What’d you need, kid?” He holds up the brass tubes, gripping them slightly so that they don’t clang against each other. When Chris first held them up he’d let them slide against each other and these pipes were not your ordinary wind chimes. No, they played eighties pop music. Eighties. Pop. Music. It’s not even five pm and he’s heard _Never Going To Give You Up_ at least twenty times.

“I need to offload these,” he replies as he shows her the pipes. They’re bound together now but he tries to err on the side of caution as he hands them to her. “We need to raise ten grand to persuade another dragon to help us get into Khuldas.” Traci doesn’t reply, she just reaches under the counter and pulls out a small wooden box. She inserts her ring into the intricate looking lock and twists it, smiling as it clicks open. Jensen’s waiting for her to pull out some fairy dust or glitter but instead her hand emerges with a large wad of cash.

“I’ll give you twenty for ‘em,” she tells him. “I’ve been meaning to add these particular set of chimes to my collection for years now.

Jensen, to put it lightly, it completely and utterly baffled. “You keep twenty grand under your counter?”

Traci grins at him and beckons to her store. “Hell, it’s not like any criminal is going to think that this place actually makes money.” Jensen takes in the gaudy and strange interior once again and concedes that she’s not wrong. Still. He can’t just take twenty grand from her.

“Oh, yes, you can, Jensen,” Traci says. “I can feel Jared’s aura and he needs you back as soon as possible, and you need him. I’m sorry about the job, by the way. You were too good for it.”

Jensen stares at her.

She frowns back at him before her eyes light up with realisation. “Oh, did I forget to mention that I’m psychic. I’m the real deal. The real Patrick Jane.”

“Uh-huh,” Jensen says. He reaches out to take the cash. Maybe he can just take it because he really needs to get the hell out of here. There’s only so much of this _weirdness_ that he can take and Jared _seriously_ owes him big time for all of this. “Thanks for this. I’ll be in touch.” He smiles at her, the dazzling smile where his eyes crinkle and he gets what he wants (which is usually silence). She blushes slightly and waves him away.

He smirks as he saunters out of the store. Though it fades when he realises that, even with the money, he still has no idea how he’s going to break Jared out of Dragonsville.

By the time he gets back to his house, Misha, Chris, Chad, Sophia _and_ Aldis are there, along with a blonde woman who he’s never seen before. Though, given that Aldis is here, that maybe isn’t the least of his worries.

“Hey, Aldis,” he says slowly, as he takes in all of them as they sit on the couch. “You still practising your acting?”

Aldis shrugs. “Breaking your boy out of Dragon World sounds a lot more fun than sitting around waiting for my agent to actually return my calls.”

“By the way, I loved that dancing giraffe commercial I saw you in the other night,” Sophia pipes up. “You really know how to bust a move.”

“Guys, guys,” Chris says quickly. “We’re all here to help, Jensen, okay? Misha? You wanna chime in now?”

Misha stands up and beckons towards the mysterious, blonde woman. “I found you a dragon! Her name is Katie and uh, she’s willing to work for free.”

“What?” Katie splutters. “That is not what we agreed on, you half-blood asshole!”

“Why is she human?” Jensen asks, hesitantly, “and why are you three,” he gestures towards Aldis, Sophia and Chad, “not freaking out over the whole dragon thing?”

“I was born with the ability to transform,” Katie replies. “Hence why they kicked me out. I’ve been waiting for a chance to seek revenge ever since.” Jensen stifles a groan. Misha could have found them any dragon. Literally _any_ dragon, but he had to go and pick one with some kind of grudge? Seriously.

“I’m here to find out where Jared is,” Chad answers with a shrug. “And as his best friend, I’m not exactly new to this dragon stuff.”

Sophia blinks. “Chris told me that this was your intervention.”

“I’ll admit that I have _no_ idea what’s happening right now,” Aldis says. “But y’all seem interesting?”

Jensen rolls his eyes at all three of them and decides just to focus on Katie for now. He can deal with the other two later on.

“Okay, can we just pay you to not seek revenge?” he asks Katie. “I have twenty grand and it’s all yours if you just…do as I say, for the next couple of days.”

Chris whistles, impressed. “You managed to sell all that junk, then?” At the mention of the items, Jensen hoists his duffel off his shoulder and dumps it onto the ground. None of the other stores he went to had taken much of the items so he’d been stuck carting them around for the last couple of hours.

“Actually, I made the twenty just from the chimes,” he admits. “Turns out that the owner is a friend of Jared’s.”

“It’s a small world!” Misha says. “Just the other day I bumped into a former colleague of mine in Uzbekistan!”

Jensen groans. “Look, let’s just get this over and done with, okay? Before I do something I regret!” He leaves the front room and makes his way down to the basement, trusting the others to follow his lead without needing an invitation.

His cell vibrates in his pocket just as he steps into the basement and he ignores it at first, not really wanting to talk to anyone, but a strange feeling makes him reach into his pocket and answer it.

“Jensen?” The rich sound of Jared’s voice floats into his ear and, for a second, time stops and Jensen is taken back to that first week when they started dating.

_“So, say this dragon world is real,” Jensen’s asking as the end credits of **Reign of Fire** roll. “Would you prefer to live there or here?” It’s not really meant to be a serious question, but the way Jared’s brow furrows in thought is too cute for him to say anything, so he sits there and waits. Truth be told, Jared’s not his type – at all. The floppy hair, the ditzy behaviour and the dragon thing? All aspects that Jensen would normally hate, but there’s something so damn enthralling about Jared and he doesn’t know what. _

_“It depends,” Jared replies, eventually._

_Jensen raises an eyebrow. It’s not like Jared to give a short, direct answer, even in the brief amount of time that they’ve known each other. “Depends on what?”_

_“On what I’d be walking away from,” Jared says. “Or who. I mean, I might want to go check it out but ultimately, I’d want to be back with the person – people - that I care for. I’d want to be here.”_

“Jensen? It’s me!” Jared’s voice cuts into the memory, and Jensen swallows past the lump in his throat. He almost can’t speak, but he forces the words out.

“Jared… is it really you?” It’s more of a throaty whisper but the sigh of relief on the other end of the line is all the conformation he needs. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” Jared says, his voice quiet and demure for once. This is the longest they’ve been away from each other, and Jensen’s struck by a moment of doubt. What if things aren’t the same? What if Jared’s changed, or hell, _he’s_ changed? “Danneel tells me that you’re planning on breaking me out. And it turns out that Hector has a working cell phone. He’s pretty engrossed in his Games of Thrones marathon so I’m borrowing it while Jeff keeps watch.”

“I’m not even going to ask how she knows but, yeah, I’m coming for you, baby,” Jensen replies, wincing at how ridiculous he sounds, but he knows that Jared will appreciate the endearment. He always does. He makes no comment on the whole cell phone thing because he reached his limit a long time ago. He does not want to talk about cell phone-having or Games Of Thrones-watching dragons. Ever.

“What if it’s dangerous?” Jared asks, startling Jensen out of his thoughts. “As far as I know no one has attempted to break someone out of Khuldas before, or if they have, they certainly haven’t lived to tell the tale.” Jensen feels a momentary rise of panic in his chest as he leans against the cold concrete walls of the basement, chill seeping through his shoulders while he wonders if he even bothered to pay the heating bill for this month.

“Gee, thanks,” he mutters sarcastically. “That’s exactly the kind of pep talk I was hoping for.” He regrets the sharp, bitter words almost immediately but Jared’s loud, booming laugh sounds instead of a chagrined apology and he snorts to himself. Not the response he was expecting.

“As much as it pains me to say it, I’ve actually missed your sarcasm,” Jared says a little breathlessly. “I have to go in a second, I was just supposed to warn you about the three trials.”

“Trials?” Jensen echoes.

Jared laughs humourlessly. “Yeah, some kind of protocol the dragons put in place to monitor who goes in and out. You have to go through three of them once you enter Khuldas before you’re permitted entry into the Golden Gates.”

“I can’t just use the whole Brad Pitt thing to try and get past them?”

“You can try,” Jared says slowly. “But the dragons running the trials are kind of grouchy.”

Jensen exhales deeply. _Of course they are._

Six hours later, Jensen lands on his ass in Khuldas with the chant still ringing in his ears. Misha and Katie are beside him _upright,_ and he grumbles angrily as he stands up. He brushes off his pants gingerly, and yanks off the stupid black cloak. Fuck dragon protocol.

“Did you have to scream the chant at the top of your lungs, Katie?” he asks her, jumping back when he sees that she’s morphed into her dragon form. “Holy shit, warn a dude next time!” Misha is smirking and Jensen flips him the bird, not really seeing the funny side of almost being scared to death by a damn dragon. Jared is really, really, really going to owe him big time for this.

Katie uses her tail to whack his head. “Whatever, let’s get this over and done with.” She saunters off at a ridiculously fast speed as Misha and Jensen look on.

“She really was the best I could get,” Misha says pleadingly. “You’re not going to demand your watch back are you? I’ve grown rather fond of it.”

Jensen whirls around and snaps, “You know what I’ve grown fond of? The day when I never have to see a fucking dragon again.”

Misha swallows audibly. “Fair enough.”

Things are silent for a while after that as they walk through Khuldas. It looks the same as it did the first time. The sky is still an ethereal shade of green, though today there’s a vivid, rich rainbow streaked across it and Jensen wonders if that’s a sign. Dark objects dart across once again and he watches them for a little while. There are shiny rocks littered by the earthy green shrubs they pass by and Jensen wonders what they’d be worth if he took one with him. And then he looks a little closer and notices that some of the rocks have _eyes_ and it takes three minutes for Misha to calm him down.

By the time his heart has stopped beating like crazy, they’ve reached a rickety, old bridge which is stretched thinly across a plane of _fire_. Katie’s waiting by the bridge impatiently as she glares at a short, brown looking blob that kind of looks like the dung Emoji on his iPhone.

“Look, I already told you lady,” the blob is saying. “If you wanna cross over, you gotta tell me why you deserve this rose. And then _maybe_ I’ll let you over.” The blob is actually holding a rose and everything, and Jensen blinks, dumbfounded.

“What is this, _The Bachelor_?” he says dryly, not really liking the murderous glint in Katie’s blue eyes. He might not be a stranger to the dragon world anymore but they’re still terrifying creatures. He’d rather not die under a torrent of her fire.

“I love that show,” the blob says excitedly. “Did you see the season where---“

“I will literally flay you alive if you don’t let us over the bridge,” Katie says menacingly, cutting the guy off mid-sentence. “Is that a good enough reason for you to give me that rose?”

“Not really,” the blob says petulantly. “And threats won’t get you over the bridge, Miss.”

Jensen steps forward then, not really interested in watching Katie go head-to-head with a poop shaped dragon. Or maybe this thing is actually a _troll_. Either way, the longer they spend here arguing with this guy, the longer it’ll take for him to get to Jared.

“Hi, my name is Jensen Ackles,” he says in what he hopes is a friendly manner. “Winner of the Brad Pitt Award of Attractiveness.” He lets that hang in the air for a few seconds, and frowns when he realises that the blob looks extremely unimpressed.

“Like I said, pretty boy,” the blob answers. “Tell me why you deserve this rose and _maybe_ I’ll let you over.”

Misha steps forward. “Listen. Your terms are unreasonable, friend.”

The blob glares angrily. “I ain’t your friend, half-blood.” Misha slumps visibly and gestures at Jensen uselessly. Jensen rolls his eyes and steps forward once again.

“I can just fry his ass right here and now,” Katie says. “Just say the word.”

“Oh, now you want to listen to what I have to say?” Jensen gripes.

Katie winks at him. “You’ve got to earn trust, pretty boy.”

“I’ll tell you why I deserve the rose,” Jensen says to the blob. “They’re symbolic of love, right? A rose in bloom is one of the most delightful sights in, uh, the world… and you know what, fuck it. I’m not going to stand here and debate over how much I deserve a stupid rose. My fiancé is stuck here – against his will – because you and the rest of the dragons can’t decide if you want to go to war or not. I’m here to get him back because he doesn’t deserve this, I don’t deserve it, and you and the King both know that.”

There’s a long silence after Jensen quietens, only broken by a series of loud sniffles. The blob is heaving slightly and… _crying_. Misha shrugs when Jensen turns to give him a questioning look, and he rolls his eyes and pats the blob gently. He’s surprised to feel smooth velvety skin instead of rough ridges but, hey, maybe dragons have good skin regimes too.

“Here,” the blob whimpers emotionally, hand with the rose outstretched. “You have 49 seconds to cross the bridge. Be quick!”

Jensen just about manages to call out a thank you before Misha bundles him across the bridge, muttering about how nobody is _paying_ him for this. Katie transforms back into her human form as she walks across, stopping once to give the blob one more disparaging glare.

They walk for what feels like hours before they encounter a stream. Not just any stream, either, but a stream blocking them from continuing along the dusty pathway leading towards the Golden Gates. There’s a small, blue dragon by the stream twirling what looks like a pink umbrella. It looks pleasant enough but Jensen finds the Barbie umbrella a little creepy.

Katie steps forward and uses her hand to bring Misha and Jensen to a halt. “I’ve got this one.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Misha says before Jensen can. “You’re probably going to scare her away with your friendly attitude.” Jensen can’t help wondering if his sarcasm is rubbing off on the half-dragon.

“Look, this task is the easiest of the three,” the blue dragon says before things can turn into an argument. “My name is Maya, by the way.”

“Hi, Maya,” Katie says brightly, ignoring Misha’s glares. “So what do we have to do to get over the stream? Do we need to win a rose from you?”

Maye eyes her warily. “Just answer three riddles correctly and you’re free to pass over.” She disappears then, leaving three golden envelopes in her wake. Jensen picks them up and opens the first one quickly. Misha and Katie have been griping nonstop for the last however long, the sooner this journey is over the better. He’s not even sure why Misha is here. Surely he has easy access to Khuldas?

“You’d think so, wouldn’t you,” Misha says dryly when Jensen puts this to him. “But no, I have to do this every time. It’s why it takes me so long to get everything across.” Jensen nods absently as reads the typed up ‘riddle’ on the parchment.

“ _What’s red and green and spins really fast?_ ” Katie reads from over his shoulder, her long blonde hair tickling his neck slightly as a few strands fall loose.

“I think I like you better when you’re in your dragon form,” he says. “I can hear you coming.”

Katie grins at him. “Ah, there’s a dirty joke in there somewhere.” Jensen rolls his eyes and looks at the stream, noticing there that there are three, equidistant green balls placed on the bright blue water.

“Frog in a blender.” Before they can ask Misha what the hell he means, one of the balls springs to life and flattens into a large green lily pad. Some bright, silver stars circle around the lily pad before moving to hover beside the second one.

“That doesn’t seem like a riddle or particularly funny joke to me,” Katie announces. “But hey, what do I know about human humour! Dragons are more likely to smash a watermelon and laugh for days!”

Jensen frowns. “Sounds like Gallagher.”

“Oh, yes, dragons are very fond of Mr Gallagher,” Misha adds excitedly. “He’s a true pioneer.” Jensen just opens the second envelope, not wanting to get into a discussion about a comedian whose main gimmick is smashing fruit. The note is the same as the first, on brown, coffee coloured parchment with small, neat, typed words.

“ _What building has the most stories?_ ” Jensen reads out.

“A library,” Katie replies instantly, with a sardonic smile. “Take that, bitches.”

Misha scoffs loudly. “It’s not a _competition_!”

The silver stars start to dance around and the second lily pad springs to life, splashing open and flattening into a pristine, emerald coloured plane. Like before, the stars dance around briefly before they move onto the third green ball.

“You’re just saying that because you didn’t figure it out first,” Katie retorts. There’s a slight breeze in the air, which is making her hair flutter and she brushes it out of her face with a hard swipe.

Misha narrows his eyes, “Like you gave any of us a chance?”

“Can you guys just stop arguing for two seconds?” Jensen snaps. “Just admit that you like each other, okay? And before you deny it, I’ve seen the way you look at her, Misha.”

Misha’s face turns a scarlet colour and he looks away bashfully. Katie, to her credit, mumbles an apology as she regards Misha differently. Gone is the hard glare and in its place there’s an interested glint. Jensen has _no_ idea if _she_ likes Misha, but it seems like maybe he was onto something. He smiles to himself - Jared would be proud. He drops the second envelope and reaches into the third, heart beating more rapidly as he pulls out the parchment.

“ _If you had five mango and two bananas in one hand and two mango and four bananas in the other hand. What would you have_?” he reads it off once again, mentally doing the math as he does. Five plus two is seven and two plus four is six so…”Seven mangoes and six bananas?” He waits but there’s nothing. The stars are still circling around the last ball and Jensen deflates.

“I’ve got nothing,” Katie says unhelpfully. She turns to Misha. “What about you?”

Misha cocks his head to one side. “Well, we know that it can’t be an arithmetic problem so we need to think outside the box, here. Maybe…Fruit!!”

They turn towards the ball expectantly but nothing happens. Jensen’s mind turns to Jared and how close he is to seeing him once again. Sometimes, and a lot of times in the past few months, he thinks that one day he won’t remember what Jared looks like. He won’t remember that floppy, brown hair, his blue-green eyes, or the way he sometimes smells like cinnamon, and the red skin of his knuckles, the feel of his hands. He gets scared that he’ll forget what Jared’s touch feels like or that Jared will forget what his feels like, and it’s… he can’t give up now. He has to put everything right. He looks back down at the paper and reads it again. He wonders how anyone would be able to hold that many mangoes and bananas. Well, maybe Jared would, but that’s only because he’s got really—

“Big hands!” he shouts out suddenly. “You’d have to have really, large hands!” This time the stars are accompanied by a sweet, soft lullaby as they swirl around the last ball and it erupts open. Dark green vines shoot out from all three pads and connect to each preceding lily pad, forming a link between all three of them. Jensen doesn’t even think, he just leaps forward and steps onto the first one, wobbling slightly as he jumps onto the second one and then onto the third, breathing a sigh of relief when his feet hit the dusty path and he’s on solid ground again. Katie and Misha follow behind him, no trace of an argument in sight.

“Nice job,” Katie says softly. Jensen nods at her, suddenly too choked up to speak. Misha pats him on his shoulder but remains silent, and together they set off back down the path. Thankfully they don’t have too long to wait because at the end of the path there’s a cave. From the outside, it’s just a small opening carved into silver grey rock, with a blue-green strip of light filtering out. There’s a stand outside with a card on it that says ‘ _Find the lost treasure, and entrance via the gates will be yours_ ’.

“That’s dragon code for ‘we’re too lazy to look for people’s shit so we’ll find visitors to do it’,” Katie complains when she sees it. “Fucking bureaucrats.”

Jensen frowns at her. “Are you always this cynical?”

“No, she’s right,” Misha says. “I have to do this every time I come to Khuldas and then deliver the lost items to their owners. It’s very frustrating.”

Jensen exhales deeply. Frustrating is an understatement. After what seems like an age, they manage to find the items and escape the cave. The Golden Gates turn out to be more of a myth and Misha announces that they’re now in Khuldas. Katie offers to give him a ride to the palace and, after a short, but rather calamitous journey, Jensen’s left standing in front of a very large castle, with some mild nausea from the flight.

“I guess we’ll be seeing you,” Misha says. “We won’t be permitted entry.” Jensen nods and tries to hide the fact that his heart is hammering in his chest. This is it. He’s _here_.

“Thank you both, so much,” he says breathlessly. “I know that I’ve been a major asshole, but if either of you are every back on… in… back in town, you’re always welcome at the house.”

Katie’s tail springs up and slaps into Jensen’s face. She winks at him before she takes off, her wings flapping gracefully as she fades into the distance.

“Well, I better get to the package depot,” Misha says. “I’ll be sure to deliver you more of your fan mail.”

“Oh, I can’t wait,” Jensen says, trusting that his sarcasm will be detected.

# Three

It’s surprisingly easy to walk into the palace and demand to see the king. His experience with Katie has prepared him well for seeing giant dragons but, bizarrely enough, they’re relatively normal sized and dressed in… _clothes_. He watches a vast array of hoodie-clad dragons walk past him as he waits in a small, room which is covered in various plaques and miniature statues.

“Look who it is,” a familiar voice says and Jensen looks up in surprise. Danneel! Gone is the small, shirt destroying, baby dragon and in her place is a huge behemoth of a thing. She's easily eight foot tall, with leafy green, scaly skin. If it wasn't for the tell-tale tufts of red hair and the fact that he knows her, he probably wouldn't even recognise her. Her scales are dark and glossy while her large body is long-limbed and elegant, with long a swishing tail attached at the rear. There are four closely mounted digits on each foot, and her wings extend from her back, though they’re folded down so he can’t see how lengthy they are. She looks at him with almond shaped, mirror like green eyes, with her lips drawn back, making her look as if she’s smiling. Two short horns extend from her forehead, partially concealed by her red hair. To say that she looks completely transformed would be an understatement.

“What are you doing here?” they both say at the same time. Her voice has lost its childish squeak and she sounds like an adult. It weirds him out a little. Even though dragons grow into adult form within a hundred days, she’s still only a few months old.

“I’m here to rescue Jared,” Jensen replies. “I couldn’t just leave him here.”

Danneel frowns. “Huh. Well, when I didn’t hear from you after that message, I kind of assumed the worst and came up with my own plan. Didn’t Jared tell you when he called?”

“No…” Jensen responds slowly, “he didn’t. He wanted me to come here, right?”

“I’ve been sworn to secrecy,” she says. “But I think you deserve some warning – you’re about to experience a Khuldasian wedding.”

This time Jensen frowns. “Who’s getting married?” he asks.

“You are.” Danneel crouches down so down they’re at eye level and again he’s struck by how weird it is that she’s so much taller than he is.

Jensen groans inwardly. “Why would we need to get married here of all places?”

“Given the discrepancies surrounding the Dragon War, the civilians have become restless,” Danneel admits. “We need a distraction and we need it quickly. There’s only so much that nineties reruns and HBO can do. Plus our Netflix license hasn’t come through yet, which is kind of irritating. I wanted to watch the last season of Arrested Development.”

Jensen blinks at her slowly and decides to pretend that he’s not weirded out by television-watching dragons.

“How exactly will this wedding provide an adequate distraction?” he asks. “Jared and I are just two random humans.”

Danneel cocks her head to one side, her pointy, large ears moving slightly as her nostrils flare. “Well, technically, Jared’s a random human. _You’re_ a celebrity to Khuldasians! And what better to distract them than a huge, gay celebrity wedding!”

Before Jensen can respond, the room morphs around them and he finds himself in what looks like a dressing room from the Fifties, with some kind of intricate looking purple garment hung up on the back of the door. He turns around and gone is Danneel and in her place is a tall woman with red hair. Wait...He peers closer as the woman stares back at him defiantly.

"Isn't being a weird humanoid dragon illegal or something?" Jensen asks. "I met a dragon called Katie who was on her way back to seek revenge for people - or rather, dragons - of her kind. You might want to be on the lookout for that."

"Turns out that the king having an heir that can transform means that we can finally reverse that law," Danneel says, seemingly accepting Jensen's easy acceptance of her appearance. He can't lie, he is a little freaked out that his baby dragon is basically a fully formed adult in human form. However, given all that's happened, this is just one more thing to add to the list.

"Makes sense," he agrees. "So, run this wedding thing by me again? You want me and Jared to help you and the king smooth over the fact that you jumped the gun with the whole war thing?" Danneel huffs and puffs over that, but it looks kind of ridiculous now that she's in a human form. There's nothing adorable about watching her puff out her face.

"We didn't jump the gun," she insists assertively. "We just didn't count on certain things happening."

Jensen raises an eyebrow. "You didn't count on potentially destroying the very same piece of land that you were fighting for?"

"Yeah, yeah," Danneel says, rolling her eyes. "That's not what's important here. What's important is this wedding. We're all waiting." His heart beats hard at the thought of seeing Jared again but not like this. Not in some kind of fishbowl where a bunch of dragons who think he's pretty will be watching, prying into something they have no business seeing. And sure, a wedding in a dragon world might not even count in the real world, but it’s the principle of the thing. This isn't what he wants.

"I want to see Jared first," he says. Maybe they can run away from this place together. Danneel doesn't look too pleased but she shrugs and tells him to wait in the room before vanishing through what looks like a very heavy iron door.

Jensen waits for what seems like hours. Pacing the room time and time again. Picking at the purple robes (frowning at the matching hat), sitting slumped in the comfortable arm chair. Eventually the door opens and shuts with a loud thud and, as his back is to it, he stops in his tracks. For a moment, anticipation swirls in his chest, so tumultuous that he's almost frozen to the spot. He shifts but doesn't turn, the thought of it not being Jared suddenly too much to bear.

"Jensen?"

It's jarring and yet so familiar to hear that voice again; to hear it saying his name. He turns quickly, relief flooding his system when he sees Jared is standing there. They rush forward in tandem and Jensen's not sure who throws their arms around who first, but they're caught in a strong embrace. He breathes in Jared's scent, memories unlocking as he realises that this is Jared. He's really here. This isn't just some mind game. Jared pulls back and tries to say something but Jensen isn't ready to talk yet, so he pulls Jared in for a kiss that starts off slow but turns into something deeper, a desperate attempt to reconnect with each other. Eventually Jensen pulls back, his hand stroking Jared's face gently. There are a million things he wants to say but none of them seem profound enough. None of them hold the gravitas of what he wants to convey. So, he leaves it to Jared to break the silence, but he seems to be having the same issue. It takes Danneel to get them to do something other than stare at each other stupidly. She pokes her head into the room, eye roll visible even though she's some distance away.

"Not to break up the moment, but we're kind of on a deadline, here," she says dryly. She's gone before either of them can say anything.

"She totally got all of her sarcasm from you, you know that right?" Jared smiles and Jensen returns it. It's awkward, but he doesn't know how to break the silence.

"You look tired," he says eventually, only realising after that he maybe should have led with 'hi, how are you?’

Jared nods, and does that thing where he cleans his glasses to get out of saying something. Jensen watches him for a while, as he takes in Jared's appearance. He's no longer wearing the bed sheet cloak but a red sweater vest over a white button down. His hair has grown out and curls against the nape of his neck, but he's still the same. He's still _Jared_.

"You can't seriously be considering this?" he asks eventually. Jared shrugs despondently. He waits for a verbal response, watching Jared closely as he does. It hits him then just how different he looks. It's not a drastic change, but minor things like the pallor of his skin, hints of bags under his eyes. He _does_ look tired and Jensen can't - won't - add to that by making this a huge argument. Plus, it's not like he can afford a wedding elsewhere right now, what with his current unemployment. He still has all of the dragon gifts but selling those will be an exhausting and daunting task. So he decides not to fight this. If getting married here will prevent a full scale dragon civil war and get them out of here in one piece…

"Fuck it," he says. "Forget that I asked that. Let's do it. Let's get married in Dragonsville!"

Jared's eyes widen in surprise (and relief). "I was mentally trying to come up with a way to convince you," he says with a bitter laugh. He sounds just as enthused as Jensen feels, but this isn't the time for questions. They need to focus on getting through this and getting the hell out of dodge.

"After everything you've been through and the levels of ridiculousness it took me to get here, I figure that we might as well take this get out of jail free card."

"Even though you won that Brad Pitt award? I'm sure that could give you some leverage." Jared's smiling but it doesn't reach his eyes. It makes Jensen realise how absurd this situation is. Just a day earlier (or whatever the hell dragon minute/hours/days are in Earth time), he was thinking about how this is the longest they've been apart and now they're about to be thrown into a political, public spectacle of a marriage? He doubts that even Olivia Pope would be able to get them out of this one.

He scoffs and says, "Especially because of _that_. Besides, I'm way hotter than Brad Pitt." Jared laughs then, bright and beautiful and the rich sound sends a thrum through Jensen's veins. Things might be awkward and stilted now, but his Jared is still in there. He's still the same, and to Jensen that's everything.

_They're_ everything. He meets Jared's eye and smiles at him softly.

It's time.

Two days later, Jensen finds himself being transported out of Khuldas in the royal coach, which is really just the dragon version of a smelly old Greyhound bus, but whatever. He's just happy to be leaving. The weight of the gold band on his ring finger is almost as heavy as his memories of the wedding and he does his best to block it out. There's nothing romantic about marrying the love of your life in front of a roomful of terrifying dragons. Especially when you're hovering in mid-air on some kind of flying carpet made out of the most hideous fabric he's ever seen.

"It was like something out of Aladdin," Jensen complains from where he's seated next to Misha. He bumped into the half-dragon shortly before they left and managed to persuade the driver, Galdeis, to take him along. Given that Galdeis is eight foot and breathes green fire, it was no easy feat. But Jared's busy talking to his fellow captives, so at least it's worked out in Misha's favour.

"That sounds romantic!" Misha says. "Who doesn't love _Disney_?"

Jensen shoots him a pointed look.

Misha is aghast. "How do you _sleep_ atnight? You know what, don't answer that. Of course you don't like _Disney_!. You're _you._ Anyway, speaking of the wedding, why is Jared back there with the other released captives and not with you?"

Jensen can only shrug in response. After asking Danneel to ask the king to show some leniency regarding the laws on human visitors, the thirteen other people had also been released. Had he known that Jared would ignore him in favour of his new best friend, Jeff, he mightn't have bothered.

"I guess he feels comfortable with them or something," he says. "Why hang out with the guy you’re bound to by dragon law when you can chill with your fellow captives!" Someone clears their throat behind them and Jensen turns to tell them to shove off when he sees that it's Jared and a tall, dark-haired man with a thick beard. Jeff, his mind supplies, and he looks up at them sheepishly.

Jared smiles despite the awkwardness and beckons between them. "Jensen, this is Jeff! Jeff - Jensen." Jensen stands to shake the guy’s hand, and they both end up blurting out.

"I've heard a lot about you,” at the same time. Jensen's voice sounds accusing while Jeff's tone is friendly. There's a pregnant pause as the four of them look at each other with varying levels of discomfort.

Jeff eventually breaks the silence as he gestures behind him and says, "Well, I'm just going to go back there and talk to, uh, my new friend here." He gives Misha a pointed look and they all turn to look at him. There's a few seconds before confusion bleeds into realisation and Misha snaps his fingers.

"Right! We're just going to go. And leave you two to say... stuff." Jeff is shaking his head in amusement as the two of them depart. Jensen rolls his eyes and looks at Jared, who has a guilty look on his face.

"I'm sorry, I was just filling the others in on the wedding," Jared says.

"That was not a wedding, it was a fucking magic show," Jensen grumbles. "Don't act like you enjoyed it either. I know you, remember?"

Jared isn't as good at pretending as he thinks he is.

"I do remember," Jared says with a small smile. "And I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess. I... don't enjoy spending time with my fellow captives, as you put it, they're my friends. And I was telling them about my heroic husband. The only significant other who's actually come to Khuldas to save someone." He sounds so sincere that Jensen's anger evaporates. He's not sure why he's so wired up. Maybe because they haven't had a second alone.

“You mean heroic fiancé,” Jensen corrects him. “That weird flying carpet ceremony does _not_ count.”

Jared rolls his eyes but doesn’t look upset so Jensen assumes that he’s won this battle for now.

“You know, Jeff’s married,” he says out of the blue. Jensen raises an eyebrow and just about manages to refrain from childishly retorting that he doesn’t care (and really, he doesn’t). Jeff is pretty damn hot, but Jared’s the most loyal, honest person he knows – he’s not worried at all. And okay, so yeah, it must have gotten lonely in Khuldas and Jared hates being alone, but still, Jensen trusts him and—

“You were giving him a death glare when we came over,” Jared continues.

“I must have had something in my eye,” Jensen shoots back sarcastically, annoyed that Jared’s calling him out _now_. “You’re not sorry, by the way.” He doesn’t even mean to say it, it just comes out. The bus goes over some kind of pothole and they lurch forwards violently _. Dragon optimals, my ass_ , he thinks. Galdeis calls out an apology and says that they’re nearly there, and Jensen all but breathes a sigh of relief. He can’t wait to be back in his – their – house, away from prying eyes and dragons.

“I knew you were mad at me!” Jared says triumphantly, smile fading when Jensen gives him a look that hopefully says _‘Yeah, no fucking shit_ ’.

“This isn’t what I was expecting when we found each other again,” he says sadly. “Jensen, you know what I’m like. I rush into things. I don’t think before I speak or do things. I’m… an idiot. I mean, I eat ice cream with a _fork,_ for God’s sake, and really, who does that? And I know that you’ve let a lot of things slide, but I promise that I’ve learned my lesson now. I swear. There won’t be any rash or crazy behaviour and I’m not going to—“

“—leave,” Jensen cuts in, knowing that Jared will ramble for an hour if he let him. “Do I have to worry about that? Because I have to tell you, that out of all that’s happened in the past few months, you being here _by choice_ is what’s hurt the most. And I get it, Jared. I don’t need you to change or stop using the wrong cutlery, I need you to realise that I’m not just the doting, supportive boyfriend, I’m just like you - I’m _human_. I can’t…I won’t do this again.”

“Well said!” Danneel calls out as she strolls past them with Katie in tow. Jensen stares after her because 1. He’s not sure why she’s on the bus, and 2. Wasn’t Katie supposed to be on some crusade to make morphing-human-weirdo dragons feel at home in Khuldas and 3? The shirt she’s wearing is entirely age-inappropriate. That last point creeps him out a little because in her human form she’s a grown woman and so different from the baby dragon he and Jared raised. The thought makes him frown and then smile, as he realises that this hasn’t all been bad.

By the time Jared replies, Jensen’s almost forgotten what they’re talking about.

“I know what I did was wrong,” Jared says, while placing his hand on Jensen’s knee. “But I don’t regret it.” Jensen turns to meet Jared’s gaze head on and he sees that Jared means what he’s saying. This isn’t bravado or cruelty; it’s just the truth. Jared’s words break his heart and it’s like his worst fears have been confirmed. There’s no hope for him; he’s never going to come first. He’s always going to come second to one of Jared’s passions or crazy obsessions and…he can’t live like that anymore. He can’t pretend anymore.

“I know how much the dragons meant – _mean_ – to you, Jare,” he murmurs. “That’s not the part I’m upset about. I just… sometimes I think that I do so much for you but you’d never do the same for me. You wouldn’t spend months moping around, lose your job, and go above and beyond to enter a realm you know nothing about for _me_ and—“

“That’s crazy talk, I would do _anything_ for you, and what I meant before was that I don’t regret seeing what life was like without you,” Jared replies. “Waking up in Khuldas wasn’t the same if I couldn’t share it with you. I didn’t feel whole, or like myself. I missed you, more than I thought was possible, and the one thing that kept me going was the thought of the promise I’d make to you when I got back. That I won’t leave again. If it’s a choice between you and dragons, it’s you every time, Jensen.”

“Do you really mean that?” Jensen has to ask.

Jared leans forward and grabs hold of Jensen’s hands. He uses them to pull Jensen in, until they’re in some kind of weird half-hug.

“I love you, you idiot,” he says softly. “Of course I mean it. And I know that words are just words, but if I have to spend the rest of my life proving it to you, I will.”

It’s not quite what Jensen wanted to hear, but it’s better than what he thought he was going to get, so he accepts it. He lets the resentment and anger fade and just basks in the glow of Jared’s love, the warmth of his hands that seep into his. He burrows closer and lets his head fall on Jared’s shoulder and they stay like that for a few minutes, content with listening to the hustle and bustle of the bus. Quite how many people are actually on the bus is a mystery to him, but he figures that the garden is big enough to accommodate all of these people. Well. He _hopes_ that it is. That’s where his line of thinking is when Jared springs forward suddenly, sending Jensen’s head crashing into the hard plastic of the seat (yeah, dragons have shitty seats on their transport too; who’d have thought it?).

“Oh, sorry, baby,” Jared says as he rubs the top of Jensen’s head, as if he’s some petulant five year old. Resisting the urge to glare at his boyfriend, Jensen pulls back slowly. “I’m supposed to present you with your award before we enter the human realm. Let me just go and get it. I’ll be two minutes!” Jared’s up and off before Jensen can explain to him that he cares so little about the award that they might as well leave it in Khuldas.

The words die on his lips when he actually _sees_ the award.

It’s an honest to God, life size statue of Brad Pitt made out of what looks to be real gold. It’s got to be at least six foot, if not taller because it’s basically level with his height. There are no anatomical features apart from lines defining Brad Pitt’s abs and what Jensen assumes are his kneecaps. It’s almost as if the sculptor had never seen a human body before.

“I think I’ve figured out how we’re going to pay for our wedding,” he breathes in amazement. “Selling this thing beats begging my boss for my job back.”

“You can’t sell the Brad Pitt Award of attractiveness award!” Misha has reappeared and his face is coloured with outrage.

“He can do what he wants,” Jared retorts with a huge grin. He points out of the window and Jensen sees the huge ‘Thank you for visiting Khuldas!!’ sign. The rocky roads have smoothed out into flat, black stretches and the portal is in sight. The tall trees fade into the distance and the bus grinds to a slow halt. The sky is pitch black, the surroundings only illuminated by the headlights of the bus and a few sporadic twinkling stars. The stars here are huge and have faces, so Jensen tries not to stare at them too much. Soon he won’t have to worry about inanimate things being able to express themselves.

Soon.

He breathes a sigh of relief. It’s all over.

They all pile out of the bus with no problem. They say the chant with no problem. They land in the garden with no problem. However, the ground starts to vibrate around them and there’s a problem.

It’s not over.

Gone is the tranquillity of his house, and in its place are what looks like a bunch of college kids, a shit ton of piña coladas and mojitos, alongside people defiling a hot tub that definitely wasn’t in their back garden before. They stand at the edge of the yard unnoticed and Jensen rubs at his eyes gently. Idly he notices that there’s a smudge of dirt on Jared’s glasses and he turns away, sighing once again. He’s going to _kill_ Chris and then shove Chad into some kind of elaborate furniture. Maybe a really heavy dresser or closet.

“I wasn’t expecting a welcome party,” Jeff remarks casually, doing nothing to hide the amused grin on his face. Jensen rolls his eyes and turns to Danneel.

“What’s the best way to get a bunch of people out of the house all at once?” he asks when it becomes clear that Chris and Chad are too drunk to realise that a bunch of people and a gold statue have just appeared out of nowhere in the middle of their party.

“If I was thinking with my human brain, I’d say sprinklers or something?” Danneel suggests. “Saw that being used in a couple of Drag-Reels.” Jensen doesn’t even ask what those are.

“What would you suggest if you were using your dragon brain?”

Jared seems to decide that now is time to intervene because he steps forward and says, “ _Jensen._ I don’t think this a good idea.” Jensen snorts because Jared and good idea will never be two things that are synonymous.

“A little fire never hurt anyone,” Danneel says with a sneaky grin, ignoring the exasperation on Jared’s face.

“Jensen, you’re supposed to be the responsible one!” Jared exclaims. “We can just ask everyone to leave nicely, and I— You know what, just go for the fire idea.” The change of heart is so sudden that Jensen looks up to see the reason behind it. Some kid is currently throwing up on one of Jared’s ugly garden gnomes.

“I think it looks better with vomit on it.”

“You’re no fun,” Jared whines, like he has so many times before. Jensen smiles despite himself and signals for Danneel to start the fire. He’s probably going to regret asking her to do it later but right now he doesn’t care.

It’s time to light things up.

Twenty minutes later, when the guests have run away screaming and the fire’s been put out, Jared ambles past him, clutching his half melted gnome as he frowns deeply. Jensen’s sitting on the grass, watching as Katie and Danneel fly around in their dragon forms while playing Frisbee with a table top that no longer has legs.

“Hey,” he calls out, knowing that Jared won’t be annoyed for too long. “Welcome home.” Jared’s face smooths out and morphs into a small smile. His blue-green eyes are a tad watery but Jensen doesn’t mention it.

“It’s good to be back,” Jared replies quietly, “with you.” He eyes the gnome sadly for a few seconds before he discards it, not even sparing it a second glance as it hits the damp grass and snaps into two pieces. He drops beside Jensen and knocks their shoulders together, exhaling with contentment as he presses a chaste kiss to Jensen’s cheek.

Neither of them speak, and Jensen’s grateful for it. He just wants to have a moment where they’re just _together_ and this is perfect.

They can deal with everything else later.

A month after they get back from Khuldas, Jensen finds himself still sifting through all of the gifts that Misha brought him. Jared’s been helping him decide what to sell and what to keep but he’s off in town at some meeting today. Jensen doesn’t ask what it’s for. Danneel pops in from time to time, and Jared usually ends each visit with one less shirt than he started with. With the money from the still flowing presents from Khuldas they are pretty much set for life, though a part of Jensen is itching to put on his suit and go back to work.

Jared still keeps in contact with the other freed captives and Jensen thinks he might tag along next time and try to make more of an effort. Hell, he’s even meeting Misha – not _Bob_ \- for drinks later, though that might be because Chris is still on his blacklist for using the house as own personal Playboy Mansion.

As for their families, Jensen’s parents are somewhat pleased to hear that he and Jared are ‘back together’ because he’s apparently been a ‘ _nightmare to be around’_ since the breakup. He strongly refutes this claim even though he knows that it is true.

Jared’s parents still don’t call and Jensen pretends that it doesn’t bother him. If Jared wants to talk about it, he will, but so far he hasn’t mentioned them. Jared’s friendship with Chad pretty much picks up from where it left off and Jared brings home a monstrosity of a stool made out of bamboo that Chad’s trying to find a distributor for. Jensen bluntly tells Chad not to give up his day job.

Regarding his relationship with Jared, things are okay. They’re okay. There’s been some awkward moments like when Jared tries to initiate a kiss from behind, he tenses up because the muscle memory isn’t there anymore. Or when he wakes up, he sometimes forgets that Jared’s right there with him and attempts to roll into the spot on the left and then they end up in a heap on the floor. However, things are good for the most part. He still gets that tingly shiver down his spine when Jared kisses him, still loves him so much that his chest aches with it. And he still wonders how Jared could ever leave him, when the mere thought of it makes Jensen feel sick, but he knows that’s going to pass in time. Jared’s absence caused an open wound but it’s already healing. His worries and hang ups always seem so stupid when he realises how good he has it. Jared’s funny, crazy, beautiful, and messy. He’s scatterbrained, too loud and, at times, a royal pain in the ass, but none of that matters because he’s _here_.

Here where he belongs.

# Epilogue

Given that he’s marrying Jared Padalecki, author of the best-selling book ‘ _Don’t Tickle The Dragon’_ , Jensen probably should have expected some paparazzi to show up, but not the scores that are hovering at the back of the seats, with rapid flashes going off every two seconds.

Jared’s seen his popularity rise in recent times. Although the University didn’t give him his job back, he’s gone from laughing stock to media darling, on account of the book about his experience in Khuldas. Initially, Jensen was against Jared doing anything that wasn’t staying at home under his watchful eye, but even he could see that Jared was getting restless. And a restless Jared means a crazier than usual Jared, so when he stumbled upon the diaries that Jared wrote while captive, he remarked that they’d make a great book and thus, Jared’s literary career had begun. Jared did wait around to see if the university would change their mind. Hell, he even still dressed like a professor. The glasses remained in place, alongside the ever-present sweater vest, pressed pants and fire-resistant shoes. (Jensen secretly loved it, though he worried that Jared was clinging onto the past). However, the book ended up being the next chapter in the end. The publisher insisted that the book be printed as a fantasy novel leaving Jensen surprised, but pleased that Jared had accepted it so easily after his initially misgivings.

Fast forward to today, and they’re getting married! Again. Though this time Jensen’s not angry and Jared’s not exhausted from sort-of being held against his will.

This time it’s going to be _perfect_.

It’s a beautiful day; the sun is shining but it’s not too bright. Luckily for them, it’s not supposed to rain so having an outdoor wedding won’t be something they regret later. All Jensen needs now is for Jared to actually turn up. He’s been waiting for an hour in his tux and tie with the green dragons all over it (he really needs to stop being such a pushover). He’s not panicking, not even a little bit. Jared’s going to show up, it’s just a matter of when and whatever the hell he brings with him, because there’s definitely something that Jared’s not been telling him. Though Jensen’s has a pretty good idea what it is.

“You’re marrying one crazy son of a bitch, I hope you know that,” Chris says before Jensen even sees it. He gives Chris a stern look because, as of today, the only person in their immediate circle that gets to call Jared crazy is _him_. If his friends don’t like it… well, he’s not averse to showing them the door.

The procession music starts up, not that Jensen really hears it because he’s too busy looking at Jared. He’s at the end of aisle with Danneel flanking him on one side and a huge, huge, golden coloured dragon on his other side. The camera flashes increase in number and Jensen can’t help but laugh. Jared’s been making threats about making his doubters eat their words but this is… this is something else. He watches quietly, beaming as the three of them make their way down the aisle. Everyone else’s eyes are on the dragon – The King of Khuldas – but Jensen only has eyes for one person.

“I hope you’re not mad,” Jared whispers when he reaches Jensen. He’s not wearing his glasses, and even though Jensen adores them he loves being able to see directly into Jared’s blue-green eyes even more. Love radiates from them and Jensen feels like it’s reflecting straight onto his heart. The official isn’t paying them any attention; her eyes are wide and she’s gaping widely at the dragon. Jensen can almost pretend that it’s just them as he blocks out all of the noise and focuses solely on Jared.

“I’m not mad,” he confirms, because he isn’t. “You did this to prove a point, right. That you’re not crazy?” Jared shifts a little and smiles crookedly, distracting Jensen momentarily. Sophia was the one to pick out the tuxes and damn if she didn’t do a good job. Jared’s all firm lines and defined body angles and Jensen wants to remove the dragon patterned bow-tie with his teeth and strip him out of it, inch by inch. Jared clears his throat and Jensen flushes at the knowing look that he receives.

“I’m crazy alright,” Jared whispers by his ear. “Crazy for you.”

“Real smooth,” Jensen retorts. “I might have to get you a _Jennifer Aniston Award for Lines You’d Hear In A Rom-Com_.”

“I would seriously _love_ that!” Jared exclaims excitedly and the best/worst part is that he really would.

“I thought I was here to see a wedding,” The King practically booms from where he’s seated. Quite how he’s managed to fit in one chair is a mystery to Jensen, but with dragons, anything is possible. The King lets out a huge gust of fire before anyone can respond and there’s a sudden eruption of fireworks directly above him and Jared. The guests seem to spring to life, finally resuming their conversations and injecting some excitement into the proceedings.

Jensen takes in everything around him – the bemused expression on Chris’ face, the confused one on Chad’s; the horror on his parent’s faces and the amusement on his colleagues. Sophia looks nonplussed by everything. Aldis looks like he’s on the verge of tears, while Misha is… busy making out with Katie, which is all he seems to do these days. Danneel is watching them fondly, her red hair swaying in the wind. She winks at him and mentally says, _Thank you for accepting me into your life. You and Jared have changed Khuldas in ways that we could never have imagined_ and Jensen feels tears begin to prickle in his own eyes. Finally he turns back to Jared, who’s staring down at him with a small, secret smile that’s reserved for him – _them_. He smiles back, and without consciously thinking about it he pulls Jared in for a kiss; it’s a sweet one, tongues tangling slowly as they taste each other. The pace is slow and intoxicating and it takes several cleared throats for them to finally break apart.

When his ‘I do’ rolls around, all Jensen can think is that, he might be marrying a crazy person, but Jared is all _his_. Maybe that makes him crazy too, or hell, maybe _they’re_ the sane ones (as unlikely as that is).

All Jensen knows that is that right now, in this moment, Jared is _his_ and he wouldn’t change that for the world.

The End


End file.
